Morning :)
it's only this year for another few hours then it's last year, and when we say this year, we actually mean next year. Blows my mind.
I think I'll wait another year
I have my new bill hicks cd
I have my friends and my career
I think i'll wait another year
It'll be the best year ever
I think i'll wait another year
Can't we just wait together
You bring the smokes, i'll bring the beer
I think i'll wait another year
I think what Amanda is telling us is we have got to get a Bill Hicks CD next year. :)
X
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
It's A Little Cold Outside
Tbh, the reason I'm writing this blog, is 'cause we've done 38 so far, and If we do one tomorrow night, which we may, as we were gonna last night but never did, that would just make 39, and I think 40 is a nicer number:) If that makes sense, then Genius:) If not, don't worry, it's not important!
Where The Wild Things Are. Not only the best children's book ever, but an amazingly magical film, okay, at one point, a wild thing hides the boy in her mouth, that bit's disgusting, but still, aside from that, it's all good! Go watch it! Now! :)x
I found a band, called Tegan and Sara, they're quite good I think, you should look them up.
I have nothing else to say. Have wonderful unicorn and rainbows splashed thoughts, and dream yourself to sleep :)
xxxx
Where The Wild Things Are. Not only the best children's book ever, but an amazingly magical film, okay, at one point, a wild thing hides the boy in her mouth, that bit's disgusting, but still, aside from that, it's all good! Go watch it! Now! :)x
I found a band, called Tegan and Sara, they're quite good I think, you should look them up.
I have nothing else to say. Have wonderful unicorn and rainbows splashed thoughts, and dream yourself to sleep :)
xxxx
Thursday, 17 December 2009
This Will Be My Destiny
Have you ever heard of the radio program 'Desert Island Disks'? They get famous people in to talk about 10 songs they would choose to have with them if they were stuck on a desert island. I was talking about this with family recently, and have decided to compile my own list, off the top of my head. Here goes, with reasons;
1)Don't Stop Me Now - Queen - Classic! Reminds me of good times :)
2)Delilah - Dresden Dolls - Awesome song, beautiful.
3)Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Divison - Just simply one of them most amazing songs of the 20th century, written by a true Genius.
4)I Do - Placebo - It's Brian Molko telling you how much he wants to be with you, why wouldn't you want to listen to this song forever?!
5)What I Go To School For - Busted - Childhood Obsessions. Pure Love <3
6)Friday I'm In Love - The Cure - Simply, makes me smile :)
7)Land Of Confusion - Disturbed - Awesome cover. Good for them angry times.
8)Mr Blue Sky - ELO - Genuinely puts a smile on my face every time,If it doesn't, you're dead inside :)
9)Castaway - Green Day - Old School Green Day ftw! Plus, it would fit if I was stuck on a desert island!
10) That's So You - Rocket Summer - Beautiful. I Love This Man. <3
I'll probably want new songs next week, but right now, this is my choice. What's yours?
x
1)Don't Stop Me Now - Queen - Classic! Reminds me of good times :)
2)Delilah - Dresden Dolls - Awesome song, beautiful.
3)Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Divison - Just simply one of them most amazing songs of the 20th century, written by a true Genius.
4)I Do - Placebo - It's Brian Molko telling you how much he wants to be with you, why wouldn't you want to listen to this song forever?!
5)What I Go To School For - Busted - Childhood Obsessions. Pure Love <3
6)Friday I'm In Love - The Cure - Simply, makes me smile :)
7)Land Of Confusion - Disturbed - Awesome cover. Good for them angry times.
8)Mr Blue Sky - ELO - Genuinely puts a smile on my face every time,If it doesn't, you're dead inside :)
9)Castaway - Green Day - Old School Green Day ftw! Plus, it would fit if I was stuck on a desert island!
10) That's So You - Rocket Summer - Beautiful. I Love This Man. <3
I'll probably want new songs next week, but right now, this is my choice. What's yours?
x
Friday, 11 December 2009
Six Feet Under The Stars
Is it just me or is the world obsessed with Revolution? But hardly anyone's 'revolting' as it were.
Honestly, look around. We used to find it coincidental, we'd been joking about the song 'The revolution's never coming' and then we'd open a DVD box and it would have a flier saying 'Join the Revolution!'
Apparently even men's shaving is a revolution of some kinda or another now. I mean, I know we always mess around saying we're gonna start a revolution, and such like, but really, EVERYONE is doing so atm, which really doesn't make it too good a revolution. Just remember 'You'll never be the first, you'll never be the last' So what's the point in talking about 'revolutions' that really aren't revolutionary at all!
If we start a revolution, we'll do it properly, with marches and protests and the like, although we have decided it will be a peaceful revolution, like The Rose Revolution, what happened in Georgia. How lovely is it that people can change the shitt that's gone wrong in their country, without being violent. Beautiful.
Also, as a small mention. People are Wonderful. Does anyone bother to look at people nowadays? Like... in a non-perverted way... I was on a bus the other day, and there was this Dad with this gorgeous baby, the dad was taking to the child, without worrying about what other people were thinking of him, he was really happy. He obviously loved his son lots, the Mum was watching the Dad and Boy mess around, with a smile on her face. There was these old people on the bus stop talking. They didn't know each other, but they were having a wonderful conversation together, without being embarrassed or anything. The way people act, and do things is well interesting if you actually stop to take notice...again, in a non-stalkery way. People should learn to interact with each other more I think. Technology is probably taking that away from us. We should probably deal with this. Revolution anyone?
x
Honestly, look around. We used to find it coincidental, we'd been joking about the song 'The revolution's never coming' and then we'd open a DVD box and it would have a flier saying 'Join the Revolution!'
Apparently even men's shaving is a revolution of some kinda or another now. I mean, I know we always mess around saying we're gonna start a revolution, and such like, but really, EVERYONE is doing so atm, which really doesn't make it too good a revolution. Just remember 'You'll never be the first, you'll never be the last' So what's the point in talking about 'revolutions' that really aren't revolutionary at all!
If we start a revolution, we'll do it properly, with marches and protests and the like, although we have decided it will be a peaceful revolution, like The Rose Revolution, what happened in Georgia. How lovely is it that people can change the shitt that's gone wrong in their country, without being violent. Beautiful.
Also, as a small mention. People are Wonderful. Does anyone bother to look at people nowadays? Like... in a non-perverted way... I was on a bus the other day, and there was this Dad with this gorgeous baby, the dad was taking to the child, without worrying about what other people were thinking of him, he was really happy. He obviously loved his son lots, the Mum was watching the Dad and Boy mess around, with a smile on her face. There was these old people on the bus stop talking. They didn't know each other, but they were having a wonderful conversation together, without being embarrassed or anything. The way people act, and do things is well interesting if you actually stop to take notice...again, in a non-stalkery way. People should learn to interact with each other more I think. Technology is probably taking that away from us. We should probably deal with this. Revolution anyone?
x
Monday, 7 December 2009
Saturday, 5 December 2009
=]
Good morning!
How are you today? It's the weekends :) And it's almost Christmas, good times yeah? So we saw Jimmy Carr last night, and he was really quite funny :) And not only that, he said he made tea after sex! See were not insane expecting a cup of tea afterwards. But yeah he was brilliant and you all ought to be very jealous, unless you were there, in which case jealousy isn't necessary at this point. Also, he signed our programme things and we had the lovely 3 second conversation that you have at these things. It was all rather good :)
I don't like this font by the way, does it post in this font? Not that you can tell either way, but I've never noticed before. I'm sure there was something else I was supposed to write in this blog anyway, and I can't think of it so I'll just write a load of rambling nonsense to try and make the entry look bigger!
It'll be 2010 soon, and then we all have to start saying 20 10 instead of two thousand and nine. I like New Year, it's a bit shit in this country though. We should hijack a bus up to Edinburgh, and rave up their a few days I think. How difficult is it to Hijack a bus?
I better stop writing now, or even the other one wont bother to read this :P
X (Love Love!!!)
How are you today? It's the weekends :) And it's almost Christmas, good times yeah? So we saw Jimmy Carr last night, and he was really quite funny :) And not only that, he said he made tea after sex! See were not insane expecting a cup of tea afterwards. But yeah he was brilliant and you all ought to be very jealous, unless you were there, in which case jealousy isn't necessary at this point. Also, he signed our programme things and we had the lovely 3 second conversation that you have at these things. It was all rather good :)
I don't like this font by the way, does it post in this font? Not that you can tell either way, but I've never noticed before. I'm sure there was something else I was supposed to write in this blog anyway, and I can't think of it so I'll just write a load of rambling nonsense to try and make the entry look bigger!
It'll be 2010 soon, and then we all have to start saying 20 10 instead of two thousand and nine. I like New Year, it's a bit shit in this country though. We should hijack a bus up to Edinburgh, and rave up their a few days I think. How difficult is it to Hijack a bus?
I better stop writing now, or even the other one wont bother to read this :P
X (Love Love!!!)
Saturday, 28 November 2009
'And You Can Stop The Truth From Leaking...
...If You Never Stop Believing.'
Okay, the other day I got told the magic in Christmas had gone. I know! I almost cried tbh! I really couldn't understand where this person got this from, really, from material things, like fairy lights and presents, through to family, friends, and occasionally religion, how can the magic have gone! I don't understand the world when it's like this, how can anyone deny Christmas, one day of the year, where people are friendly, happy, it's usually freezing outside,but you can wrap up in knitwear or all forms, and not give a damn what you look like! You spend time with family, distant and close, eat a HELL of a lot of food, laugh a Hell of a lot of laughs, and enjoy your time playing with all your new things people have been lovely enough to get for you.
How the fuck is there no Magic in Christmas any more! Humans; grow up, stop moaning, and realise how amazing things like these are.
I'm keeping the magic alive. I'm gonna enjoy Christmas, I'm gonna eat so much I feel sick, I'm gonna watch Dr Who Special and Monsters Inc, fall asleep during the Queens speech, go see Jesus, Laugh, Wear paper hats, read crap jokes and play around with the tiniest screwdriver set in the world that just go into a little draw with millions of others.
Fuck all you miserable people for who Christmas is nothing any more. It's just further proof there really is something wrong with the world. So, for all you Christmas lovers, lets stay in our bubbles, block out the depressives, and keep Christmas magic! 'cause tbh, when it really does stop being Magic, Then, the world would have gone completely to shit and we'd be better off blowing us all up with massive nuclear weapons that no one really wants, but everyone seems to make.
I know it's like a month away; but Happy Christmas.
I Love You all.
'Your brother and sister and me and your Mum,
Will be waiting for you in the sun
Girl, when Christmas comes
Your brothers and sisters, your aunts and your uncles
Your grandparents, cousins and me and your mum
Will be drinking white wine in the sun
We'll be waiting for you in the sun'
(Written by an Australian, so in the sun obv. makes sense, but it's pretty much about the magic of Christmas, and being with your family. Love. Google it:- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0s68-GLGWY )
x
Okay, the other day I got told the magic in Christmas had gone. I know! I almost cried tbh! I really couldn't understand where this person got this from, really, from material things, like fairy lights and presents, through to family, friends, and occasionally religion, how can the magic have gone! I don't understand the world when it's like this, how can anyone deny Christmas, one day of the year, where people are friendly, happy, it's usually freezing outside,but you can wrap up in knitwear or all forms, and not give a damn what you look like! You spend time with family, distant and close, eat a HELL of a lot of food, laugh a Hell of a lot of laughs, and enjoy your time playing with all your new things people have been lovely enough to get for you.
How the fuck is there no Magic in Christmas any more! Humans; grow up, stop moaning, and realise how amazing things like these are.
I'm keeping the magic alive. I'm gonna enjoy Christmas, I'm gonna eat so much I feel sick, I'm gonna watch Dr Who Special and Monsters Inc, fall asleep during the Queens speech, go see Jesus, Laugh, Wear paper hats, read crap jokes and play around with the tiniest screwdriver set in the world that just go into a little draw with millions of others.
Fuck all you miserable people for who Christmas is nothing any more. It's just further proof there really is something wrong with the world. So, for all you Christmas lovers, lets stay in our bubbles, block out the depressives, and keep Christmas magic! 'cause tbh, when it really does stop being Magic, Then, the world would have gone completely to shit and we'd be better off blowing us all up with massive nuclear weapons that no one really wants, but everyone seems to make.
I know it's like a month away; but Happy Christmas.
I Love You all.
'Your brother and sister and me and your Mum,
Will be waiting for you in the sun
Girl, when Christmas comes
Your brothers and sisters, your aunts and your uncles
Your grandparents, cousins and me and your mum
Will be drinking white wine in the sun
We'll be waiting for you in the sun'
(Written by an Australian, so in the sun obv. makes sense, but it's pretty much about the magic of Christmas, and being with your family. Love. Google it:- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0s68-GLGWY )
x
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
Shut Up And Be A Victim Of Authority!
'Mind the gap!'
There was once a time, when such a warning was not given. It was the days before Health and Safety was hated by every living creature, including foxes, and back to a time when life was simpler and easier in general. During these times there was a terrible curse upon all lands of Train Platforms, many, many people were lost each year due to horrific lack of minding the gaps. It was awful, gaps were being taken to court left, right and centre. Gaps were being sent to jail and we had a world-wide lack of gaps, Trains went mental, they couldn't deal with it, and therefore they all went on strike. 'Something must be done!' said the wise Peacock, Winston, who was usually consulted on such matters of deep importance, he issued a decree that from that moment on(Tuesday 17th May 1968, at 3 O'clock)there would be a warning read out by a woman with a stern voice, on all Train platforms, He also declared that the name of the next station should be read out on the trains, purely for social convenience, but everyone agreed and thought this a good idea too, so the woman got a life long and beyond job, reading out warnings such as 'Mind the Gap' and announcing stations as is she was sneezing 'Cosham!'(Honestly, listen to it next time!) Everyone was happy. Especially Winston, the wise old Peacock, as he was paid greatly in rubies, gold, and sparkly accessories to go with his wonderful new Silver Skinny Trousers he got off ebay for £12.99, he had trouble finding them, as apparently they're not counted as skinny jeans, but trousers, but in the end, he found them and life was good from there on out when he could live his days sparkling, dancing, and drinking tea.
x
There was once a time, when such a warning was not given. It was the days before Health and Safety was hated by every living creature, including foxes, and back to a time when life was simpler and easier in general. During these times there was a terrible curse upon all lands of Train Platforms, many, many people were lost each year due to horrific lack of minding the gaps. It was awful, gaps were being taken to court left, right and centre. Gaps were being sent to jail and we had a world-wide lack of gaps, Trains went mental, they couldn't deal with it, and therefore they all went on strike. 'Something must be done!' said the wise Peacock, Winston, who was usually consulted on such matters of deep importance, he issued a decree that from that moment on(Tuesday 17th May 1968, at 3 O'clock)there would be a warning read out by a woman with a stern voice, on all Train platforms, He also declared that the name of the next station should be read out on the trains, purely for social convenience, but everyone agreed and thought this a good idea too, so the woman got a life long and beyond job, reading out warnings such as 'Mind the Gap' and announcing stations as is she was sneezing 'Cosham!'(Honestly, listen to it next time!) Everyone was happy. Especially Winston, the wise old Peacock, as he was paid greatly in rubies, gold, and sparkly accessories to go with his wonderful new Silver Skinny Trousers he got off ebay for £12.99, he had trouble finding them, as apparently they're not counted as skinny jeans, but trousers, but in the end, he found them and life was good from there on out when he could live his days sparkling, dancing, and drinking tea.
x
Monday, 23 November 2009
So wonderfully wonderfully...
Wonderfully wonderfully pretty!
Mr Noel Fielding.
I love you ftr! Your an extremely fantastically amazingly beautiful man! Wow! 2008 Live show, best thing in the world, wish I was there again right now but watching it on DVD is just as good
LOVE
X
Mr Noel Fielding.
I love you ftr! Your an extremely fantastically amazingly beautiful man! Wow! 2008 Live show, best thing in the world, wish I was there again right now but watching it on DVD is just as good
LOVE
X
She, She Screams In Silence.
I hate being ill. It pisses me off. I'm further behind on Art because of this as well.
I also get annoyed by people who try and figure out what's wrong with you, when it's obviously just a bug. Comments like 'You're probably just tired' don't make sense! I've slept more than normal over this weekend, so if you're gonna try and help figure out what's wrong, get all the facts right in the first place.
Not in a good mood. I want tea and chocolate and a hug. Sadly when you're ill these pleasures are usually taken away from you. Dickheads.
Sorry for the negativity.
x
I also get annoyed by people who try and figure out what's wrong with you, when it's obviously just a bug. Comments like 'You're probably just tired' don't make sense! I've slept more than normal over this weekend, so if you're gonna try and help figure out what's wrong, get all the facts right in the first place.
Not in a good mood. I want tea and chocolate and a hug. Sadly when you're ill these pleasures are usually taken away from you. Dickheads.
Sorry for the negativity.
x
Saturday, 21 November 2009
She Wants To Go Home
Buy A Tonne Of Diet Irn Bru, Then Come Back
Well annoyed that everyone's always like Scotland well fat country, but just been to the co op and they only had full fat Irn Bru! 2 Litres of full fat Irn Bru is a fuck lot of calories and this stupid place is trying to make me fat! Damn Them To Denny, that'll teach them how to run a proper Co-op
X
Well annoyed that everyone's always like Scotland well fat country, but just been to the co op and they only had full fat Irn Bru! 2 Litres of full fat Irn Bru is a fuck lot of calories and this stupid place is trying to make me fat! Damn Them To Denny, that'll teach them how to run a proper Co-op
X
Monday, 16 November 2009
Green Day...
Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day Green Day
Wow! They make my life so amazing there's nothing anyone can do! Truly Invincible! Immune To Gravity! =] Wow
I really can't say how amazing they were live! It was so incredibly brilliant and everyone who wasn't there is obviously jealous
X
Wow! They make my life so amazing there's nothing anyone can do! Truly Invincible! Immune To Gravity! =] Wow
I really can't say how amazing they were live! It was so incredibly brilliant and everyone who wasn't there is obviously jealous
X
Saturday, 14 November 2009
'I am a DIY Demon!'
We're well having a 'Booshathon'
Naboo's just flushed the toilet on the Hitcher in the shower of youth! :O
It takes 10 hours to watch series 1,2 and 3. We started at 5 this afternoon, and it's now 11:21 and we're about half way through the second series.
This is love :P
Now it's the start of Old Gregg <3
It's been such a long time since I've watched Boosh properly it's so good to watch it again properly in a completely obsessive way :D
'I once looked at a hedge.'
Love Love
xxx
Naboo's just flushed the toilet on the Hitcher in the shower of youth! :O
It takes 10 hours to watch series 1,2 and 3. We started at 5 this afternoon, and it's now 11:21 and we're about half way through the second series.
This is love :P
Now it's the start of Old Gregg <3
It's been such a long time since I've watched Boosh properly it's so good to watch it again properly in a completely obsessive way :D
'I once looked at a hedge.'
Love Love
xxx
Friday, 13 November 2009
Look At All The Colours At My Fingertips
Rainbows are amazing, and I feel they're underestimated in a modern society. And since it's getting all winterful and raining lots I think we should take some time to appreciate rainbows. 'Cause right, it's an arc of really bright colours which just appear in the sky! And that is amazing!
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
I Wanna Be The Minority
xD
Don't have the time or energy to write a big long post. Plus there's some things which are just so amazing you can't put them into words.
But last Sunday we saw Green Day! And the place was all pretty and colourful. And we were sat right at the back surrounded by middle aged people :/ But right WOW they were just amazing and every song the played was like a billion times better than on cd. And we proper rocked out :P And we killed our throats completely with screaming. And their all fantastic and beautiful people
The Revolution Of Our Lives!
x
Don't have the time or energy to write a big long post. Plus there's some things which are just so amazing you can't put them into words.
But last Sunday we saw Green Day! And the place was all pretty and colourful. And we were sat right at the back surrounded by middle aged people :/ But right WOW they were just amazing and every song the played was like a billion times better than on cd. And we proper rocked out :P And we killed our throats completely with screaming. And their all fantastic and beautiful people
The Revolution Of Our Lives!
x
Saturday, 31 October 2009
'Tim is God'
Wow...
We well saw Tim Minchin last night. Wow...Again. ;)
Last Tim blog was about us getting tickets. Well Excited for it. It was worth it.
He was amazing, and beautiful, and his eyes, truley were as gorgeous as they seem on TV :P
WE got there well early 'cause we actually needed to find the place, but when we did we went and 'lunched' in M&S(Posh yeahh?!xD) We then just kinda wandered aimlessly until around 6ish, when we made our way to find the Guildhall again, and we sat on a wall which was the tiniest ever, which offended us, so we moved to the steps where we almost got killed by a crane that worked! I know right! A working crane?! What WERE they thinking! Anyway, loads more people turned up and we went in, and bought this 'souvenir set thing' Which consisted of a Tim Canvas bag(to take to the supermarket!) a programme and a poster. I must say, in all the photos, he seems like a very bendy man...don't know if anyone but us notices these things xD We went in and sat in Antici...pation for him, and I wow'd at his Sexy Piano. Honestly, I was making plans to steal it. They're well the best instrument ever ftr.
Then it went all dark and Tim spoke in his amazing Australian accent! He sung lots of songs, and well did 'Taboo' as like his second, I agree, Only a Ginger can call another Ginger Ginger! :P
We were in awe tbh, and he was hilarious, although the guildhall obviously fucked up ticketing, cause loads of people kept on going to the row in front of us and pissing us off. xD He finished the 1st half with Canvas Bags, in which he revealed his beautiful chest and had a fan(which he seems to be obsessed with tbh.) blow at him, to make him look all windswept and interesting!...and fit...2nd half was just as good, and he finished with Darkside, in which he showed off his fantastic piano skills....I Love Him ;)...We then clapped, lots. And he came out and did a BEAUTIFUL song about Christmas for an Encore and we melted.
When it was all over and we stood and clapped him we went outside to see him, after a while his manager or someone simular came out, we weren't very interested in him,. but we said hi to him anyway as he told us to be all good and nice, and try not to kill Tim etc etc... Then he came out and we were just like Wooooowwwww again. and we were lie right at the front for ages but he kept on going to the other side and signing other peoples shizz, and then he turned round and went 'Ah young people!' and we were like wheyy:) and he said he should turn left more often, and we agreed. :D He soon turned left and we stood and smiled as we were just kinda too ahhhh! Tim! To speak haha, he went Hi! and we went Hi! and he went You okayy, and we were just like yeahhh! All shy like! Which is totally not like us, and he signed out tickets and smiled with beautiful...face. He is a Very Pulchritudinous(google it.) Man. even up close, where as some people look amazing on TV, but in real life they're just average xD Not the case with Tim at all! We then had to run off and go catch a train (we're on a train! - Boosh quote, sorry.) and just wow'd a little more. We Just got in before the last ferry, which was very lucky! and we then walked all the way to mine, and then slept with good thoughts 'cause we saw Tim, and he was amazing, and we'd well been looking forward to this for ages!
5 Stars. Obviously. Some jokes were, of course obscene, but tbh, that's just Tim isn't it xD
This is officially the best weekend ever, 'cause on Sunday, We're also going up to London to see Greenday(AHHHHHHHHH<3)>
It was a VERY 'wow' night.
xxxxx
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
Do You Feel?!
Right, the other day we went to Southampton, it was a good day, and we went and got sherbet from the amazing sweetie shop! Everything was good, and soon after we set of adventuring to find the Harbour Lights Picture House. Tbh, we didn't know at all where we were going, so just kinda walked in a direction that suited us and hoped it was right. Well, after a while we felt lost, so we saw a co-op and decided to go and stock up on supplies, incase we were stuck in Southampton for years to come! In co-op we asked a nice man called Nick for directions, he told us to go find Ocean Village, then we 'couldn't miss it'. We would hold him to this. If we missed it, Nick was to be blamed. Well, can I say, we did almost miss it, but that was just us being a little blind, when we got there we realised that the first showing of what we wanted to see was on at 4...It was only 2:30 now! D: We bought tickets and just hung around for ages until we could go in, it was a well nice little cinema, and amongst the posters we saw The Bunny And The Bull - The new film by Paul King(Boosh Director) Which we got all excited about like years ago, and then completely forgot about, it's gonna be good! Go see if when it's out people! Anyway, we went into the tiny cinema screen, and we pretty certain it was just gonna be us in there! but just before it started 5 more people came in, all middle aged, but ohwell. (Also at this point i'll mention how Yummy Cadbury Nibbles are! XD)
I realise I havn't mentioned what film we went to see yet. I felt I'd keep you in suspense. :O
We went to see The Cove, it's a documentry about Ric O'Barry (Flipper Dolphin Trainer) and how he, and a team of people, are trying to stop the slaughter of around 23000 Dolphins in a little Japanese town of Taiji. We had heard before hand that it was quite graphic and disturbing, and for that we almost didn't go, as some people thought we were a little weird for us wanting to see Dolphins get murdered mercilessly. Nevertheless, we went and tbh, I think it was good we did. It wasn't as graphically disturbing until right at the end, where the managed to film the actual murder of these beautiful creatures, and the sea turned deep red, I'll admit, at that point I looked away, I was almost in tears, it was horrible, this one Dolphin chucked itself out of the water and tried to jump onto these sharp rocks to try and get away from it, it wa just a horrible 10 or so mintues. What shocked me most, was the numbers and statistics they reeled off all throughout the film. They were terrifying tbh, and tbh I think something needs to be done. I'm well in admiration of the lot who made the film, 'cause what they did was technically 'illegal' yet they didn't give up or anything. It was inspiring. There's a song by The wonderful Rocket Summer called Do You Feel, one of the verses has this in it... 'Sometimes I convince myself
that all is fine in the world
It's not mine
Why should I
have to try
to fix things I didn't create or contrive'
It's all about not acting on what we should in the world, cause we all have our own problems and are all too self centered to go and actually do anything about it. Well, that's what I get out of it anyway, I recommend you go check Him out, he's got an amazing voice, Sexy hair, and can write amazing songs. Why wouldn't you?! xD But back to the point, I think something more should be done about the Dolphins, and other situations like that. Originally, we decided we were just gonna watch the film 'cause we're obsessed with The Red Paintings, but it's actually made something in my head click, and I'd well love to be able to do something about it. I've also gotta talk to 10-11 year olds at some point about the charity Save The Whales! for My PSHE Coursework, and the film will be mentioned, even though they're technically too young for it, age certificate wise. Hopefully they'll want to try and do something aswell, and maybe force their parents to go see it with them.
My point? The Cove, an awesome film, that makes you think. It'll shock you, and will be difficult to watch, but it's well worth it. I admire Ric O'Barry, and his team. Hopefully their actions will make change.
Go to The Coves website, to see where it's showing.
I'll leave you with a line from the wonderful Trash McSweeney...
'The Time Has Come To Say Enough's Enough.'
x
Friday, 23 October 2009
'I Tried To Ignore It'
Where is that from?!
It's a song, we're sure, we thought either Dresden Dolls, Placebo, or Duke Special, as they're the main bands we listen to (if you hadn't noticed) But we can't find the line on any lyrics websites, we might just be making it up, or twisting what the actual line is.
Help Meeeeeeee xD
x
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
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The World Is Really All In Love...
Well... It's fucked up. And I thought I'd write on this, 'cause I'm meant to be doing Coursework, and I was on Twitter, generally wasting time, when I was flicking through people's posts, and I follow BBCNews, just to prove to my Dad that I do take an interest in the world. Which tbh, is a lie, I hate the news, I just skip past the news posts without reading them and nose on what famous people are thinking and doing! I just decided I should probably read them sometimes though, so I tried, and in 4 posts, in an hour and a half, all of them are horrible, about drugs, fraud, racists, economy and even more hate. Now, I avoid the News at all costs, for this reason, why do we Want to know about the fucked up world we live in? I'd much rather stay in my little 'bubble' where everything's good, and kids don't get abused, women don't get beaten, the BNP, and general racists, don't exist, the Economy is completely fine, and no one is forced to do anything illegal, against their will! Why is it like this anyway?
I was in History the other day, and people were talking about A and H bombs, and all of that, they then went on to talk about massive, destructive, horrible weapons that people are thinking of building now! I hadn't heard of any of this shitt until this lesson, due to my avoiding of the news, but I was sat there, in disbelief that people could just talk and joke about these Weapons of Mass Destruction, like they were nothing, like they weren't gonna kill millions of people like the Americans did at Hiroshima and that. It just doesn't make sense to me.
I know I'm completely naive, and way too 'innocent' in my head to actually think about this stuff and not worry about it! Is it right people arn't worried about how the world in general is atm? I really don't think it is!
'You Can Stop The Truth From Leaking, If You Never Stop Believing!'
x
I was in History the other day, and people were talking about A and H bombs, and all of that, they then went on to talk about massive, destructive, horrible weapons that people are thinking of building now! I hadn't heard of any of this shitt until this lesson, due to my avoiding of the news, but I was sat there, in disbelief that people could just talk and joke about these Weapons of Mass Destruction, like they were nothing, like they weren't gonna kill millions of people like the Americans did at Hiroshima and that. It just doesn't make sense to me.
I know I'm completely naive, and way too 'innocent' in my head to actually think about this stuff and not worry about it! Is it right people arn't worried about how the world in general is atm? I really don't think it is!
'You Can Stop The Truth From Leaking, If You Never Stop Believing!'
x
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
Life Is No Cabaret...
Once there was this mate of mine called Steve...he was obsessed with cheesy 90's pop, and spent his time commenting on you tube videos, and arguing with innocent strangers. Steve was a good mate, he very closely resembled a roll of sellotape except was green and and had fantastically bright red hair which he wore in bunches.
One day Steve decided he loved 90's pop so much he would build a time machine and go back to live there forever. He went about collecting parts of old furniture and 716 balloons, and then set to work on the machine. It took Steve 13 years and 7 days to build it. Passers by would yell comments in his direction. "It'll never work" said a tall handsome grass hopper one day, watching Steve hammer away from a safe distance. Steve took no notice and carried on. He never slept or ate throughout the time of building, so when it was finished he was completely exhausted. The machine looked astounding. It stood 6ft high and 5 wide, decorated with old shoelaces and peacock feathers kindly donated by Winston, a wise old peacock who owned the apothecary down the road.
Steve was so exhausted that he has made a fatal error in the programming of his time machine...you know what programmings like. He had accidentally set his machine to 1890 instead of 1990. As you would imagine Steve was shocked and appalled wondering the streets desperately trying to find that guy from Blur...you know, the one who makes cheese. However insead of him Steve found an old boot discarded on the side of the road, and immediately fell in love. Him and the boot lived nice and happily under a bridge with an alligator who would visit on Tuesdays!
X
You've Never Seen Such Perseverance!
GCSE art, I think I'm going through the 5 stages of death with this last project! D:
(<<--That's it. Done. I think anyway, the pictures not too good quality anyway and my teacher says it's about a D, but tbh, I don't care if I pass Art or not anymore, the fact is, it's done!)
1)Denial - I didn't believe we only had liek a week to finish this. I denied that I would fail. ( if this counts)
2)Anger - I was Reaaaalllllly pissed off with my teacher, and most people in general, just cause I was getting so stressed over this work, which is gonna go in some local gallery in a week of so.
3)Bargining - We all asked our teacher for an extension. No, was her answer.
4)Depression - Last night I almost had a major breakdown over this! I was almost in tears over a piece of silk! XD
5) Acceptance - I've accepted it's to be in for like tomorrow, even though yesterday the deadline was today, so hopefully the same will happen again! (yn)
What I'm trying to say is, GCSE Art Sucks! It's so much work! That if you're not naturally completely amazing at art, then it's hell, takes up ALL of your time, upsets you, and generally ruins 2 years of your life. This is why I'm not having anything to do with it at college next year!
I should really get back to sewing sequins on now! It'll take forever, but I'm determined to get it done now. Hense the title from 'Haemoglobin.' I heard the line and was like...! I must tell the world(more like about 2 people who may or may not read this) about the hell this is, and how really, I'm getting over it :P
Really, this is all a massive waste of time, and I'm now out of tea...Any offers to make me another cup? Please?
X
Monday, 12 October 2009
The Girls Are Crying And The Boys Are Masterbating
Hey, good day?
So we've been on a bit of a learning curve recently. Through the wonders of msn we have been finding out how often males aged between 15-20ish masturbate. And tbh we got a surprising amount of results just by asking whoever was online "Outta interest, how often a week do you masturbate".
Here is the data we collected. The first number is the age of the male, while the second is their personal view on how much they believe they masturbate per week.
19:3-4
17: 1-2
19:2
15: 3-4
19: 2
17:2-3
16:2
17:9
15: 7-8
16: 0
18:3-4
15:2-3
17:0.5
18:3
16:3-4
To be quite honest, I don't have the energy to do anything with this data at the moment, but when I have time I'll get some averages and draw out some conclusions. Obviously this is a small sample size, however it varies in age and location as some of these participants are actually Scottish :). Even taking that into account our data is still completely unreliable and shows absolutely nothing except there's a good chance most of our friends lied.
x
Saturday, 26 September 2009
You Know It Takes One To Know It In Another
So I also forgot this existed, and as I logged on, just to check things out, I noticed my 'other half' as we seem to be refering to each other as, did exactly the same as me! XD
She is now my husband(I bagsee'd being wife first!) as apparntly old married couples say things into unison with each other quite ofter, something which we do all the time. Maybe we spend too much time together =P
I've decided to embrace my Geek, In two short, sentences:-
I Actually Love Pokemon!
I Actually Love Dr. Who!
I thought I should share my love with you, as that's all I seem to do now. ;)
Also, Merlin, the BBC program, <3! I loved series 1 and by the looks of it series 2 will be just as good =D
Roll on Saturday nights in to watch Geeky programs on National TV (Y)
Love love.
x
She is now my husband(I bagsee'd being wife first!) as apparntly old married couples say things into unison with each other quite ofter, something which we do all the time. Maybe we spend too much time together =P
I've decided to embrace my Geek, In two short, sentences:-
I Actually Love Pokemon!
I Actually Love Dr. Who!
I thought I should share my love with you, as that's all I seem to do now. ;)
Also, Merlin, the BBC program, <3! I loved series 1 and by the looks of it series 2 will be just as good =D
Roll on Saturday nights in to watch Geeky programs on National TV (Y)
Love love.
x
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
I Feel My Luck Could Change
So I completely forgot this thing existed!
Then I signed up to face book, to see if I could possibly find some understanding to its weird ways, and I saw the URL on my other half's page :P.
My other half because I can't remember if we put our names on this or not. Loll
Anyway I thought WOW, Our blog! So I thought I'd write a bit. I don't have much to say tbh. Obviously I'm extremely exited about Tim Minchin, then Green Day! It's like the best weekend ever! Closely followed by Greenbelt, which was one of the best weekends! Duke Special <3
So, I suppose that really is all I have to say. I still remember your existence, blog! Don't worry!
X
Saturday, 12 September 2009
'Rock N Roll Nerd'
Tim Minchin.
(L)
October 30th he's going to Southampton Guildhall,
And We're gonna go see him!!
Except one of us doesn't know yet, due to her being away and I can't get in touch with her!
It Shall Rockkk!!!! I love him ;) I thought I'd do a blog to celebrate the genius of Minchin.
If you havn't heard of him...Well you should of! Go Youtube him Right Now, for he is awesome beyond comprehension.
(L)
October 30th he's going to Southampton Guildhall,
And We're gonna go see him!!
Except one of us doesn't know yet, due to her being away and I can't get in touch with her!
It Shall Rockkk!!!! I love him ;) I thought I'd do a blog to celebrate the genius of Minchin.
If you havn't heard of him...Well you should of! Go Youtube him Right Now, for he is awesome beyond comprehension.
Also he has sexy blue eyes and an amazing Australian accent (See a theme here, Trash McSweeney, Tim Minchin... LOL) Although apparntly, his eyes arn't really blue, there's a video on youtube called 'Tim Minchin OCD' and it's like 'you know when you've got Tim Minchin OCD when...' And one of the things it says is 'you know the colour his eyes *really* are!' So, naturally, I googled it...I just found other people asking what colour his eyes were tbh. I then looked through every single lyric of his I could find! (I HAD to find out this, it was starting to annoy me) I found it, eventually, the line that mentions contact lenses, it was in So Fucking Rock (which was the second to last song I was gonna look for lyrics in ¬_¬) The line is
'And I worked very hard for a rock n roll face
I’ve got the kooky contact lenses and the girly mascara'
I’ve got the kooky contact lenses and the girly mascara'
And I was thinking, Kooky... Does that necessarily mean that they're coloured lenses? Kooky means crazy, and stuff like that, it does point towards them being coloured, but maybe he just wrote it to fit in with the tune? tbh, I hope they're not fake. 'cause his eyes are beautiful and they'd be even better if they were real!
(They are fake...I did more googling, he wears makeup and contacts to make his eyes stand out more, cause his hands are always occupied, playing piano, that general idea...Still, I reckon they're naturally a dull blue and he's just got brighter blue contacts...Just my idea, I'm probably totally wrong tbh...)
So yeah, he's amazing in general, We're row E in the stalls, which is amazing seats I feel, for booking so late! My dad doesn't agree with him so much, due to his 'slightly offensive song'(in his words) 'If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out (Take My Wife)' Ok, it is an athiest song,
(They are fake...I did more googling, he wears makeup and contacts to make his eyes stand out more, cause his hands are always occupied, playing piano, that general idea...Still, I reckon they're naturally a dull blue and he's just got brighter blue contacts...Just my idea, I'm probably totally wrong tbh...)
So yeah, he's amazing in general, We're row E in the stalls, which is amazing seats I feel, for booking so late! My dad doesn't agree with him so much, due to his 'slightly offensive song'(in his words) 'If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out (Take My Wife)' Ok, it is an athiest song,
'And if anyone can show me just one example in the history of the world of a single
Spiritual or religious person who has been able to prove either logically or empirically the existence of a higher power that has any consciousness or interest in the human race or ability to punish or reward humans for there moral choices or that there is any reason - other than fear - to believe in any version of an afterlife
I’ll give you my piano, one of my legs, and my wife'
This is my brain
And I live in it
It’s made of love
And bad song lyrics
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
Cos God forbid I hurt somebody
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis of a brand new cliché
x
Spiritual or religious person who has been able to prove either logically or empirically the existence of a higher power that has any consciousness or interest in the human race or ability to punish or reward humans for there moral choices or that there is any reason - other than fear - to believe in any version of an afterlife
I’ll give you my piano, one of my legs, and my wife'
But tbh, I'll try and prove him wrong for his piano and leg :P
On that note, Will anyone by me a grand piano? I feel I deserve one, for generally being amazing...any offers?
Shame...
I shall leave you with this...
On that note, Will anyone by me a grand piano? I feel I deserve one, for generally being amazing...any offers?
Shame...
I shall leave you with this...
This is my brain
And I live in it
It’s made of love
And bad song lyrics
It’s tucked away behind my eyes
Where all my screwed up thoughts can hide
Cos God forbid I hurt somebody
And the weirdest thing about a mind
Is that every answer that you find
Is the basis of a brand new cliché
x
Thursday, 3 September 2009
'Don't Worry Who These Jokes Will All Be Lost On'
We thought, as you may have noticed from the last post, our obsession with Boosh wasn't up to scratch. We mean, someone took time, to transcript the Entire First Series! 'Woaaah' thought us - we must fix this! The only way, we thought, we could save our obsession from being pummeled into the sand, was by transcripting the Entire Second AND Third series...' Oh yes you had better believe it! So here is our attempt. Enjoy.
PS: The entire point of starting up this blog was so we'd be able to find out where certain things were from, when we get a line in our head and can't fingure it out... This is probably the most effective way of going about helping that problem! XD
PS: The entire point of starting up this blog was so we'd be able to find out where certain things were from, when we get a line in our head and can't fingure it out... This is probably the most effective way of going about helping that problem! XD
Series 2 - Episode 1 - Call Of The Yeti.
Scene1.
Scene1.
[Opening Titles]
[Vince, walking around the corner, in a shiney silver suit and feather boa, strikes a pose]
Vince: What about this?
Bollo: Good.
[Vince disappears for a second, comes back out in white fluffy cowboy hat and furry jacket, strickes pose]
Vince: How about this?
Bollo: Also good.
[Vince in new costume again]
Vince: What about this to travel in?
Bollo: Ohh...Magnifique!
[Vince costume change again, does twirl on spot.]
Vince: The funky Inuit?
Bollo: Very good
[Vince costume change]
Vince: What about this cape?
Bollo: A bit last week.
Vince: I'll put it in the maybe pile.
[Howard comes in from the hall]
Howard: Vince, you ready?
Vince: Almost there yeah, narrowed it down to these two piles! [points to two massive piles of clothes]
Howard: You are joking arn't you? We're going to a cabin in the woods!
Vince: So?!
Howard: For one weekend!
Vince: Yeah I suppose...
Howard: Let's try and narrow it down, now look, ok. Do you need this tie?
Vince: Yeah! The tie's a multi-purpose accessory! You know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
Howard: Right, well what about this Jacobean Ruff?
Vince: Listen, I've gotta strong feeling the Tudor looks gonna come back in while we're away, I don't wanna get left behind!
Howard: You'll be in the wilderness, who's gonna know?
Vince: Well what if someone's photographing animals yeah? and I'm in the back of the shot! The internets a powerful tool these days!
Howard: Vince, You gotta be more economical, like me. See what I got going on right here? The Multi-purpose Tweed Utility Suit, It's all I need!
Vince: Yeah, but what if you wanna go swimming?
Howard: Zips down to trunks.
Vince: Well it's easy for you isn't it? You havn't got any style!
Howard: Do you mind? I don't buffet about on the wings of fashion, Fashion may come and go, but Howard Moon remains where he is!
Bollo: Clothes Avalanche!![knocks over the piles of clothes.]
Vince + Howard: Woooahhh
Howard: Right that's it! One Suitcase!
[Vince, walking around the corner, in a shiney silver suit and feather boa, strikes a pose]
Vince: What about this?
Bollo: Good.
[Vince disappears for a second, comes back out in white fluffy cowboy hat and furry jacket, strickes pose]
Vince: How about this?
Bollo: Also good.
[Vince in new costume again]
Vince: What about this to travel in?
Bollo: Ohh...Magnifique!
[Vince costume change again, does twirl on spot.]
Vince: The funky Inuit?
Bollo: Very good
[Vince costume change]
Vince: What about this cape?
Bollo: A bit last week.
Vince: I'll put it in the maybe pile.
[Howard comes in from the hall]
Howard: Vince, you ready?
Vince: Almost there yeah, narrowed it down to these two piles! [points to two massive piles of clothes]
Howard: You are joking arn't you? We're going to a cabin in the woods!
Vince: So?!
Howard: For one weekend!
Vince: Yeah I suppose...
Howard: Let's try and narrow it down, now look, ok. Do you need this tie?
Vince: Yeah! The tie's a multi-purpose accessory! You know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
Howard: Right, well what about this Jacobean Ruff?
Vince: Listen, I've gotta strong feeling the Tudor looks gonna come back in while we're away, I don't wanna get left behind!
Howard: You'll be in the wilderness, who's gonna know?
Vince: Well what if someone's photographing animals yeah? and I'm in the back of the shot! The internets a powerful tool these days!
Howard: Vince, You gotta be more economical, like me. See what I got going on right here? The Multi-purpose Tweed Utility Suit, It's all I need!
Vince: Yeah, but what if you wanna go swimming?
Howard: Zips down to trunks.
Vince: Well it's easy for you isn't it? You havn't got any style!
Howard: Do you mind? I don't buffet about on the wings of fashion, Fashion may come and go, but Howard Moon remains where he is!
Bollo: Clothes Avalanche!![knocks over the piles of clothes.]
Vince + Howard: Woooahhh
Howard: Right that's it! One Suitcase!
Scene2
[Howard walks into Naboo's room, where he is packing.]
Howard: Naboo, are you nearly ready?
Naboo: Nearly, what d'ya think? Red or blue?
Howard: I don't care! We were supposed to of set off by now! What's the matter with everyone? Did you get my itinery?
Naboo: Chill out! We're going on holiday! It's meant to be relaxing.
Howard: I'm gonna have to type out a new one!
Naboo: What about you have you packed?
Howard: Yes I have! This is everything I need, right here, I'm wearing it! The Multi-purpose Tweed Utility Suit!
Naboo: What if you wanna go swimming?
[Here zipping noises off screen and Naboo's face look disgusted]
Howard: Happy? Now get ready![Storms off]
Naboo: Oooh! I didn't need to see that!
Howard: Naboo, are you nearly ready?
Naboo: Nearly, what d'ya think? Red or blue?
Howard: I don't care! We were supposed to of set off by now! What's the matter with everyone? Did you get my itinery?
Naboo: Chill out! We're going on holiday! It's meant to be relaxing.
Howard: I'm gonna have to type out a new one!
Naboo: What about you have you packed?
Howard: Yes I have! This is everything I need, right here, I'm wearing it! The Multi-purpose Tweed Utility Suit!
Naboo: What if you wanna go swimming?
[Here zipping noises off screen and Naboo's face look disgusted]
Howard: Happy? Now get ready![Storms off]
Naboo: Oooh! I didn't need to see that!
Scene3
[Back in the living room with Vince and Bollo]
Vince: Ok Bollo, You ready?
Bollo: [Bollo is getting ready to push a massive pile of clothes into a normal sized suitcase] Hm, yeah!
Vince: Let's do it! Go on Bollo, use your monkey strength! Get you primate arms out! Put your back into it! Bit more, Bit more! Come on! Yes!
Bollo: Ohh quickly!
[Vince clicks the case shut]
Vince: Go! [They both run to hide behind the sofa, peering above it, they see the suitcase shake and rattle, before going still again]
Bollo: Nice
Vince: Yeah...
Vince: Couldn't you put your suit back on?
Howard: Zip broke.
Vince: I hate the wilderness, can't we go to Euro Disney?
Howard: I'm not spending another summer in the Goofy Lodge! Ok? I booked us a cabin, deep in the woods.
Vince: Great...
Naboo: It's good for me actually.
Vince: [sarcasticly] Is it really.
Naboo: I'm running low on supplies, as a shaman I can put it down as a business trip, claim it all back.
Howard: Nice!
Bollo: Where you find out about this cabin?
Howard: Oh, a little advert in the Global Explorer, the magazine I subscribe to.
Vince: Global explorer?
Howard: Very inspiring stuff!
Vince: I hate that magazine, it's a sepia nightmare! I tried to read it once, it gave me a panic attack. You heard of this? [holds up magazine]
Howard: huh?
Vince: Cheekbone. It's the most up-to-date magazine around, it's so cutting-edge it goes outta date every 3 hours!
Howard: Really?
Vince: Can't get it in the shops! It's delivered by ninja's!
Howard: Yeah well, the Global Explorer never goes outta date. There are photographs in there that are eternally relevant to our times Vince, one day I plan to be on the cover of that magazine.
Vince: What with a tropical disease?
Howard: No, with one of my photographs
Vince: What photographs?!
Howard: I'm building up quite a portfolio now.
Vince: What are you a photographer now?
Howard:Yes sir!
Vince: I thought you were a Jazz Poet.
Howard: I do many things! many things you don't know about, I span the genre's, they call me the genre spanner!
Vince: They call you the Spanner.
[Ninja runs beside the car and knocks on the window]
Ninja:Cheekbone![chucks magazine in the window]
Vince: Cheers!
JAck: Oh yes! Parden moi! Of course! I hope we meet again some time under different circumstances! [licks Vince's hand]
Howard: What a character!
Vince: What a freak!
[Jack opens door again.]
Jack: errm Mister, I was wondering if you might join me for a drink and possibly a smoke on the porch! Man to Man so to speak.
Howard: Don't mind if I do Sir. Me and jack are just gonna gonna a sorta wilderness chat, check you in a bit.
Vince: Yeah whatever!
Vince: Ok Bollo, You ready?
Bollo: [Bollo is getting ready to push a massive pile of clothes into a normal sized suitcase] Hm, yeah!
Vince: Let's do it! Go on Bollo, use your monkey strength! Get you primate arms out! Put your back into it! Bit more, Bit more! Come on! Yes!
Bollo: Ohh quickly!
[Vince clicks the case shut]
Vince: Go! [They both run to hide behind the sofa, peering above it, they see the suitcase shake and rattle, before going still again]
Bollo: Nice
Vince: Yeah...
Scene4
[On the road, in the Boosh VW van.]Vince: Couldn't you put your suit back on?
Howard: Zip broke.
Vince: I hate the wilderness, can't we go to Euro Disney?
Howard: I'm not spending another summer in the Goofy Lodge! Ok? I booked us a cabin, deep in the woods.
Vince: Great...
Naboo: It's good for me actually.
Vince: [sarcasticly] Is it really.
Naboo: I'm running low on supplies, as a shaman I can put it down as a business trip, claim it all back.
Howard: Nice!
Bollo: Where you find out about this cabin?
Howard: Oh, a little advert in the Global Explorer, the magazine I subscribe to.
Vince: Global explorer?
Howard: Very inspiring stuff!
Vince: I hate that magazine, it's a sepia nightmare! I tried to read it once, it gave me a panic attack. You heard of this? [holds up magazine]
Howard: huh?
Vince: Cheekbone. It's the most up-to-date magazine around, it's so cutting-edge it goes outta date every 3 hours!
Howard: Really?
Vince: Can't get it in the shops! It's delivered by ninja's!
Howard: Yeah well, the Global Explorer never goes outta date. There are photographs in there that are eternally relevant to our times Vince, one day I plan to be on the cover of that magazine.
Vince: What with a tropical disease?
Howard: No, with one of my photographs
Vince: What photographs?!
Howard: I'm building up quite a portfolio now.
Vince: What are you a photographer now?
Howard:Yes sir!
Vince: I thought you were a Jazz Poet.
Howard: I do many things! many things you don't know about, I span the genre's, they call me the genre spanner!
Vince: They call you the Spanner.
[Ninja runs beside the car and knocks on the window]
Ninja:Cheekbone![chucks magazine in the window]
Vince: Cheers!
Scene5
Vince: Now, can you get out please? 'Cause I wanna go to bed![wide shot of the Cabin. The moon spins round to talk.]
Moon: Here's a poem from the moon:- Neil Armstrong, a walking on me face, Buzz Aldrin, a walking on me face, and then the third one, a spaceman, a walking on me face, all on the surfaces, and he's looking at the stuff, that the moon has got to offer. hehe. Yeah...
[spins back round. You see everyone walking into the Cabin]
Howard: Here we are, What do you think of that?
Vince: Is this is garage!
Howard: No this is it Vince![Looks at animal heads mounted on wall] Wow! Check these out! A true hunters cabin eh? [See's a gorilla's head]Oh... Sorry Bollo.
Bollo: That was Chinquo. He was my friend, as children we play together in forest, but my Father warn us, no go too far, for there are hunter at edge of forest, but Chinquo curious. he always say, Bollo please, please let us go to edge of forest, over and over and over, and so finally one day... I chopped his head off. Cuppa tea anyone?
[Howard tending to fire]
Howard: Oh yes, this is more like it, roaring fire, cuppa tea, what more do you want eh!
Vince: MTV?
Howard: We're getting away from all of that Vince. Getting away from the noise of the city, listen, what can you hear?
Vince: Your Cells Dying!
Howard: Tranquility Vince! The sound of nature!
Vince: I'm bored!
Howard: Yeah well I knew you would be, which is why, if you turn to page 3 of your itinery's, you will fid I've prepared a short introductionary lecture on the Wilderness, just to get you into the spirit of things. Ok? [starts to wrote on the board, whistling]
Bollo: I've gotta bad feeling about this!
Naboo: No kidding! Let's get outta here!
Vince: Oi! Where you two going?
Naboo: Shaman business.
Vince: Well, can I come with you?
Naboo: Naah, you gotta stay here with him!
Vince: Oh! You're joking! He's insane!
Naboo: Look you can't leave him, he's all excited!
Vince: Thanks alot!
Howard: Hey guys what's happening?
Naboo: Gonna go get some supplies!
Howard: It's ten O'Clock at night? Your gonna miss the lecture!
Naboo: It's the best time, there's no one around!
Howard: Oh...
Naboo: Do you want anything?
Howard: No I'm fine thanks.
Naboo: We're getting some Owl Beaks if your interested?
Howard: Owl beaks? What for?
Naboo: This is about owl beaks yeah? Is they can restore a man's fire, if you get my drift!
Howard: I'll be fine thanks!
Naboo: You sure? Man of your age?
Howard: I said I'm fine!
Naboo: I get ya, Vince is in the room.
Howard: Just egt out will you! Right. Where were we?
[Naboo appeard at the window]
Naboo: I'll get you a couple yeah?
[Howard draws the curtain]
Howard: Okay [He holds up a note pad and hands it to Vince] There you go.
Vince: What's this for?
Howard: To take notes! and then we can do a quick question and answer session in the interval.
Vince: Interval?
Howard: Yes sir!
Vince: Are you out of your mind?!
Howard: Simmer down! Now, the life cycle of the frog! [Howard mutters on about frogs while a black board gets more and more added to it.] Now the brown bear, different to a black bear, will hibernate for up to 3 and a half month. Where as the Black bear will obviously hibernate for only 3 months, check your notes of that one. [Vince looks down at his note pad which has PLEASE KILL ME scribbled on it.] Interesting fact about those two bears, the black bear can sometimes be brown and the brown bear can sometimes be...Black! haha! Yes.
[Kodiak Jack bursts through the door]
Howard: Ahh!
Jack: Well well, Lookie here!
Howard: Keep back I know WingChun!
Vince: You only had one lesson!
Howard: Shut up!
Jack: Cool your jets, I'm a Kodiak Jack, I own this cabin! I'm just checking in to see how you're all settling in.
Howard: Kodiak, It's Howard Moon, we spoke on the phone this morning!
Jack: The what?
Howard: The Telephone.
Jack: Oh! The Talkie Stick! Your voice was trapped in there this morning!
Howard: Yeah, Howard Moon. Hello.
Jack: Hello, and...[turning his attention towards Vince]Hellooooo, What's your name, Sugar Dumpling?
Vince: Vince.
Jack: Hmm, beautiful name.
Howard: Well, we were just doing a lecture on the wilderness, you're welcome to stick around and join us.
Jack: Oh yeah? What do you know about that Mr City-Balls?
Howard: Well I have read this rather large book on the wilderness.
Jack: Book?! That's all you people know! Now let me tell you, this book aint gonna help you when a Grizzly Bear's on the loose! [Jack throws the book out of the window, hitting a bear outside the window in the face.] It's all about experience. Have you ever had a Mountain Goat grab you by the scrotum and run aay with it, then sell it on ebay a day later? Huh?
Howard: No...
Jack:You ever been Rohypnoled by a Swan, woke up in Cancoon?
Howard: No...
Jack: You ever been to a tea party with a heard of Rhino? Well I have and it aint Pretty! I've had run-ins with all these animals!and I killed them all![pointing to the animal heads mounted on walls] I killed that one! I killed that one! I ...killed That one.
Howard: Well, I've had some pretty hairy moments myself sir, yes sir!
Jack: Oh yeah? You got any scars to prove it?
Howard: EMotional scars yes.
Jack:Yeah Check this out! Moose bite! 1973, aint nothing emotional about that! Check this out! Horn of a wilderbeast, ripped it wide open! had to tie it up with my own shoe string!
Vince: Yeah! Big deal! See that? Straightners Nicky Clarke - Hottest you can get! Fell asleep on them while I was pissed!
Jack: Jimeny Christmas!
Moon: Here's a poem from the moon:- Neil Armstrong, a walking on me face, Buzz Aldrin, a walking on me face, and then the third one, a spaceman, a walking on me face, all on the surfaces, and he's looking at the stuff, that the moon has got to offer. hehe. Yeah...
[spins back round. You see everyone walking into the Cabin]
Howard: Here we are, What do you think of that?
Vince: Is this is garage!
Howard: No this is it Vince![Looks at animal heads mounted on wall] Wow! Check these out! A true hunters cabin eh? [See's a gorilla's head]Oh... Sorry Bollo.
Bollo: That was Chinquo. He was my friend, as children we play together in forest, but my Father warn us, no go too far, for there are hunter at edge of forest, but Chinquo curious. he always say, Bollo please, please let us go to edge of forest, over and over and over, and so finally one day... I chopped his head off. Cuppa tea anyone?
[Howard tending to fire]
Howard: Oh yes, this is more like it, roaring fire, cuppa tea, what more do you want eh!
Vince: MTV?
Howard: We're getting away from all of that Vince. Getting away from the noise of the city, listen, what can you hear?
Vince: Your Cells Dying!
Howard: Tranquility Vince! The sound of nature!
Vince: I'm bored!
Howard: Yeah well I knew you would be, which is why, if you turn to page 3 of your itinery's, you will fid I've prepared a short introductionary lecture on the Wilderness, just to get you into the spirit of things. Ok? [starts to wrote on the board, whistling]
Bollo: I've gotta bad feeling about this!
Naboo: No kidding! Let's get outta here!
Vince: Oi! Where you two going?
Naboo: Shaman business.
Vince: Well, can I come with you?
Naboo: Naah, you gotta stay here with him!
Vince: Oh! You're joking! He's insane!
Naboo: Look you can't leave him, he's all excited!
Vince: Thanks alot!
Howard: Hey guys what's happening?
Naboo: Gonna go get some supplies!
Howard: It's ten O'Clock at night? Your gonna miss the lecture!
Naboo: It's the best time, there's no one around!
Howard: Oh...
Naboo: Do you want anything?
Howard: No I'm fine thanks.
Naboo: We're getting some Owl Beaks if your interested?
Howard: Owl beaks? What for?
Naboo: This is about owl beaks yeah? Is they can restore a man's fire, if you get my drift!
Howard: I'll be fine thanks!
Naboo: You sure? Man of your age?
Howard: I said I'm fine!
Naboo: I get ya, Vince is in the room.
Howard: Just egt out will you! Right. Where were we?
[Naboo appeard at the window]
Naboo: I'll get you a couple yeah?
[Howard draws the curtain]
Howard: Okay [He holds up a note pad and hands it to Vince] There you go.
Vince: What's this for?
Howard: To take notes! and then we can do a quick question and answer session in the interval.
Vince: Interval?
Howard: Yes sir!
Vince: Are you out of your mind?!
Howard: Simmer down! Now, the life cycle of the frog! [Howard mutters on about frogs while a black board gets more and more added to it.] Now the brown bear, different to a black bear, will hibernate for up to 3 and a half month. Where as the Black bear will obviously hibernate for only 3 months, check your notes of that one. [Vince looks down at his note pad which has PLEASE KILL ME scribbled on it.] Interesting fact about those two bears, the black bear can sometimes be brown and the brown bear can sometimes be...Black! haha! Yes.
[Kodiak Jack bursts through the door]
Howard: Ahh!
Jack: Well well, Lookie here!
Howard: Keep back I know WingChun!
Vince: You only had one lesson!
Howard: Shut up!
Jack: Cool your jets, I'm a Kodiak Jack, I own this cabin! I'm just checking in to see how you're all settling in.
Howard: Kodiak, It's Howard Moon, we spoke on the phone this morning!
Jack: The what?
Howard: The Telephone.
Jack: Oh! The Talkie Stick! Your voice was trapped in there this morning!
Howard: Yeah, Howard Moon. Hello.
Jack: Hello, and...[turning his attention towards Vince]Hellooooo, What's your name, Sugar Dumpling?
Vince: Vince.
Jack: Hmm, beautiful name.
Howard: Well, we were just doing a lecture on the wilderness, you're welcome to stick around and join us.
Jack: Oh yeah? What do you know about that Mr City-Balls?
Howard: Well I have read this rather large book on the wilderness.
Jack: Book?! That's all you people know! Now let me tell you, this book aint gonna help you when a Grizzly Bear's on the loose! [Jack throws the book out of the window, hitting a bear outside the window in the face.] It's all about experience. Have you ever had a Mountain Goat grab you by the scrotum and run aay with it, then sell it on ebay a day later? Huh?
Howard: No...
Jack:You ever been Rohypnoled by a Swan, woke up in Cancoon?
Howard: No...
Jack: You ever been to a tea party with a heard of Rhino? Well I have and it aint Pretty! I've had run-ins with all these animals!and I killed them all![pointing to the animal heads mounted on walls] I killed that one! I killed that one! I ...killed That one.
Howard: Well, I've had some pretty hairy moments myself sir, yes sir!
Jack: Oh yeah? You got any scars to prove it?
Howard: EMotional scars yes.
Jack:Yeah Check this out! Moose bite! 1973, aint nothing emotional about that! Check this out! Horn of a wilderbeast, ripped it wide open! had to tie it up with my own shoe string!
Vince: Yeah! Big deal! See that? Straightners Nicky Clarke - Hottest you can get! Fell asleep on them while I was pissed!
Jack: Jimeny Christmas!
JAck: Oh yes! Parden moi! Of course! I hope we meet again some time under different circumstances! [licks Vince's hand]
Howard: What a character!
Vince: What a freak!
[Jack opens door again.]
Jack: errm Mister, I was wondering if you might join me for a drink and possibly a smoke on the porch! Man to Man so to speak.
Howard: Don't mind if I do Sir. Me and jack are just gonna gonna a sorta wilderness chat, check you in a bit.
Vince: Yeah whatever!
Scene6
[Naboo and Bollo are pushing a trolley around the woods. 'Shamansbury's']
Bollo: [Picking up something from the side] Oh, 3 for 2.
[The moon spins round to talk]
Moon: When the space man come, he did experiment, with a hammer and a feather, seeing which one would land first, and you know, on the moon's surface the landed exactly the same time! he could have done that with anything...beach ball, peg, magnet...little drawing of some chicken, it don't make no difference, when you are the moon, everything land's the same.
[Back at the cabin, Howard and Jack are on the Porch.]
Jack: Beatutiful view huh?
Howard:Oh yeah, It's when I see a view like that I'm always aware of the terrifying insignificance of mankind, and yet and the same time, the irrevicable connection we all have with the universe.
Jack: You know what I think of?
Howard: what?
Jack: All the tiny animal penis' all over! anyway I gotta question for you, you two out here on your honeymoon?
Howard: Errm, No jack, I think you got the wrong end of the stick there.
Jack: Well, What're you doing out here in these parts then?
Howard: Well I'm a photographer by trade, just building myself up a portfolio sir.
Jack: Ahh! Picture box!
Howard: That's me! It's in my blood so...
Jack: Well, Maybe I can help you with that.
Howard: How?
Jack: Well, you know left to your own devices out here, you'd be lucky to get a picture of a chipmonk or a piece of moss, but I know the whereabouts of a creature, that's never been seen by human eye-balls, if you get a photograph of that, you'll be famous, on the cover of some fancy magazine! See this map right here, leads directly to the creatures lair, out on Piney Ridge.
Howard: Can I have a look at that?
Jack: Maybe you can, and maybe you can't
Howard: Can I?
Jack: Well Maybe I got something you want and you got something I want.
Howard: What?
Jack: Well a man does get kinda lonely, out here in the woods.
Howard: No Jack sorry, I mean, I'm a liberal guy, but I will draw the line there I'm afraid
Jack: Not you dickbrain, I'm talking about hoochie-coochie pants in there! A man does have his standards! We don't often get a little cute newbound princess, like that around here.Usually old weather-beaten types like yourself!
Howard: Look I could never do that, Vince is a friend of mine, So I will bid you good night.
Jack: Well that's a shame. I'm guess you won't be needing a picutre of the one, the only, the legendary... Yeti.
Howard: How long would you need him for?
[Back to shamansbury's checkout till.]
Naboo: Excuse me, are these meant to be like this?
Checkout Girl: Naa, sorry It's burst.
Naboo: Bollo, get us some more jaguar tears please, it's going everywhere! Just by Horns and Hooves!
[Barry pushes his trolley up the the checkout]
Naboo: You alright Barry?
Barry: Alright Naboo! Havn't seen you in aages! When was it? Wickham caves! haha, quite a night.
Naboo: Yeah I was outta my head that night, sick in my turban. You were all over the shop!
Barry: YEah I know, it was my birthday, I was off my chops! I had two Mick Jaggers and a line of cheap whizz! anyway what you up to these days?
Naboo: Oh, I've gone freelance.
Barry: You still got Bollo?
Naboo: Yeah, he's over there getting me some stuff.
Barry: ALright Bollo!
Bollo: Hi.
Naboo: Where's your familiar?
Barry: Oh, This is Crissy[Gets out a bat from his coat pocket]
Naboo: Oh he's lovely this one. Thought you had a black cat?
Barry: I did, Doing my head in, got myself an upgrade!
Naboo: Wish I could get an upgrade
Barry: Well you should, he's tiny, got all the latest features!
Checkout girl: Got a points card?
Naboo: Bollo?
Bollo: Oh, I forgot it... Sorry
Naboo: See what I mean? That's worth 50 magic carpet miles!
Barry: Upgrade.
Naboo: See ya later Barry.
Barry: Yeah Naboo, Can I have a word? If I where you I'd stay indoors tonight, avoid the forest
Naboo: Oh yeah?
Barry: Apparntly it's breeding night for the Yeti!
Naboo: I thought they were hibernating.
Barry: They are, but every 25 years they come out, look for a man to breed with, they're bloody rampant! If I where you I'd avoid Piney Ridge.
Naboo: How'd you find out about this?
Barry: Crissy! Get's all the latest! He's got Sonar!
Naboo: Why didn't you tell me about this Bollo?
Bollo: I told you I had a bad feeling!
Naboo: I need details! See ya later Barry.
Barry: [To checkout girl]'Right there Gorgeous, When do you knock off?
[Scene where Howard moves through the forest, takes photo's and get's taken by the Yeti's.]
[Back to the cabin, Vince is straightening his hair when Jack walks in]
Vince: [Sings] So please, don't go.
Jack: Well hello there.
Vince: What do you want?
Jack: Well I, brought you some flowers. I picked them myself
Vince: Where's Howard?
Jack: Oh he's fine, he just went on a little walk up Piney Ridge, left us alone for a little while.
Vince: What're you eating?
JAck: Owl beaks! D'ya want some?
Vince: No I'm fine!
JAck: Get's you in the mood.
Vince: Mood for what?!
Jack: A pretty little thing like you and a big old mountain man like me!
Vince: Get away from me
Jack: But I loves you Vincey!
Vince: Your weird get off me!
JAck: I love my little Vincey!
[shot from outside the cabin you hear Jack screaming inside, Naboo and Bollo rush in the see what's happening, Vince is burning Jacks nose with straightners.]
Vince: There you go! Nicky Clarke - Hottest you can get!
Naboo: What's going on?
Vince: I'll tell you want's going on! I just narrowly avoided a bumming from Grizzly Adams!
Naboo: Where's Howard?
Vince: Went for a walk or something, up Piney Ridge!
[Dramatic music and looks]
Vince: What...have I got shit on my face?!
[Vince, Naboo and Bollo get in the van]
Vince: Do you think Howard will be alright Naboo?
Naboo: Well we're gonna have to move fast, before the Yeti's get him!
Vince: What are they gonna do to him if they catch him?
Naboo: I don't even wanna speak it's name!
Vince: Alright, we better get to piney ridge, quicksmart!
Naboo: Well let's get a move on then!
Vince: Right... but I can't drive!
Naboo: Your kidding I can't drive either!
Vince: I thought you could!
Naboo: Thought you could!
Vince: Did you bring your magic Carpet?
Naboo: Howard wouldn't let me pack it...'one suitcase!'
Vince: What're we gonna do?
Naboo: Bollo?
Vince: Come on Bollo, get your monkey anus up at the steering wheel.
Bollo: Bollo no drive.
Vince: Your joking why not?!
Bollo: Bollo lose licence.
Naboo: When did that happen?
Bollo: Long time ago, it was Chinquo, as teenager we would drive about town together, my father warn us, no drive too fast, for there are speed camera on A49. but Chinquo crazy. He dangerous, he always say Please Bollo, please let us go faster...
Vince: Yeah right, so you chopped his feet off yeah?
Bollo: No. I chopped his feet off... stopped him pressing accellerator!
Naboo: Do you have any more stories about Chinquo or do you think maybe we should get Howard.
Vince: What're we gonna do, Piney Ridge is about 5 hours away on foot!
Naboo: minicab?
[Ninja kncoks on window]
Ninja: Cheekbone!
Vince:Ah cheers, new issue! The Jackobean ruff's back in, I knew it! Genius... Oi mate, you can't drive can you?
Ninja: Yes.
Vince: Yes!
[Driving fast through forest, only slowing down when there is a speed camera]
Bollo:...Shit. [Looking up they're surrounded by Yeti's]
Naboo: Now don't panic anyone, I'm a shaman! We've studied Yeti's havn't we Bollo! There's something they're afraid of, what is it Bollo?
Bollo: Urmm, Cheese?
Naboo: No.
Bollo: Lipstick?
Naboo: No!
Bollo: ermm... Connect 4!
Naboo: No! Mirrors! They're afraid of their reflection! If only we had a mirror.
Vince: What size do you need?
Naboo: What?
Vince: Well do you want hand held, full length, makeup mirror? This one's good for close-ups!
Naboo: Great give me that one!
Yeti: Arhh.. Hmm... [Throws mirror away] Nice try.
Naboo: Maybe that was Unicorns.
All: Ahhhhhh!
Howard: Kalamanoo! Katuna, Panto, Tatita, Sakunoo, Fantoo.
Vince: We thought you'd been killed!
Howard: What by these guys? They're peaceful.
Vince: What's wrong with you, what's wrong with your eyes? You look weird Howard!
Howard: Howard. Oh yes! I remember him, he was paranoid, at odds with himself. He';s gone now, say hello to Parsley.
Vince: Parsley?! What's wrong with you?
Howard: I feel free inside!
Vince: That's great Parsley, now lets get outta here.
Howard: Wooah, what's the rush, stay awhile. This is my home now!
Vince: What is the woods?
Howard: Come, let me show you.
Vince: Youve gone insane!
Howard: I resisted at first, but now the rhythms of the forest flow through me, and they can flow through you too!
[Yeti Song is sung here.]
[When the song finishes they are all in a bed surrounded by Yeti's, Kodiak Jack comes in shoots his gun and says]
Jack: Run for your lives!
Vince: Ahh! I've got Bunches!
Naboo: Where's my turban?
Jack: It's the Queen and she's horney as hell! Run little Vincey I'll save you! COme here you little Yeti Biatch!
Yeti Queen: Biatch?
Jack: Oh Ohh Nooo! A little to the left! Vince I didn't get your email!!
[Everyone runs away! Into the Cabin, where the Yeti Queen runs in after them, they are all hidden as animal heads on the wall, the queen comes in and looks around, just as she's walking out, Bollo Sneezes]
Bollo: Sorry guys!
[The Yeti Queen moves forward to get them as they all scream, but stands on Vince's suitcase and it opens, shooting her through the roof.]
Yeti Queen: Oooooooh! Flipping Hell!
Bollo: [Picking up something from the side] Oh, 3 for 2.
[The moon spins round to talk]
Moon: When the space man come, he did experiment, with a hammer and a feather, seeing which one would land first, and you know, on the moon's surface the landed exactly the same time! he could have done that with anything...beach ball, peg, magnet...little drawing of some chicken, it don't make no difference, when you are the moon, everything land's the same.
[Back at the cabin, Howard and Jack are on the Porch.]
Jack: Beatutiful view huh?
Howard:Oh yeah, It's when I see a view like that I'm always aware of the terrifying insignificance of mankind, and yet and the same time, the irrevicable connection we all have with the universe.
Jack: You know what I think of?
Howard: what?
Jack: All the tiny animal penis' all over! anyway I gotta question for you, you two out here on your honeymoon?
Howard: Errm, No jack, I think you got the wrong end of the stick there.
Jack: Well, What're you doing out here in these parts then?
Howard: Well I'm a photographer by trade, just building myself up a portfolio sir.
Jack: Ahh! Picture box!
Howard: That's me! It's in my blood so...
Jack: Well, Maybe I can help you with that.
Howard: How?
Jack: Well, you know left to your own devices out here, you'd be lucky to get a picture of a chipmonk or a piece of moss, but I know the whereabouts of a creature, that's never been seen by human eye-balls, if you get a photograph of that, you'll be famous, on the cover of some fancy magazine! See this map right here, leads directly to the creatures lair, out on Piney Ridge.
Howard: Can I have a look at that?
Jack: Maybe you can, and maybe you can't
Howard: Can I?
Jack: Well Maybe I got something you want and you got something I want.
Howard: What?
Jack: Well a man does get kinda lonely, out here in the woods.
Howard: No Jack sorry, I mean, I'm a liberal guy, but I will draw the line there I'm afraid
Jack: Not you dickbrain, I'm talking about hoochie-coochie pants in there! A man does have his standards! We don't often get a little cute newbound princess, like that around here.Usually old weather-beaten types like yourself!
Howard: Look I could never do that, Vince is a friend of mine, So I will bid you good night.
Jack: Well that's a shame. I'm guess you won't be needing a picutre of the one, the only, the legendary... Yeti.
Howard: How long would you need him for?
[Back to shamansbury's checkout till.]
Naboo: Excuse me, are these meant to be like this?
Checkout Girl: Naa, sorry It's burst.
Naboo: Bollo, get us some more jaguar tears please, it's going everywhere! Just by Horns and Hooves!
[Barry pushes his trolley up the the checkout]
Naboo: You alright Barry?
Barry: Alright Naboo! Havn't seen you in aages! When was it? Wickham caves! haha, quite a night.
Naboo: Yeah I was outta my head that night, sick in my turban. You were all over the shop!
Barry: YEah I know, it was my birthday, I was off my chops! I had two Mick Jaggers and a line of cheap whizz! anyway what you up to these days?
Naboo: Oh, I've gone freelance.
Barry: You still got Bollo?
Naboo: Yeah, he's over there getting me some stuff.
Barry: ALright Bollo!
Bollo: Hi.
Naboo: Where's your familiar?
Barry: Oh, This is Crissy[Gets out a bat from his coat pocket]
Naboo: Oh he's lovely this one. Thought you had a black cat?
Barry: I did, Doing my head in, got myself an upgrade!
Naboo: Wish I could get an upgrade
Barry: Well you should, he's tiny, got all the latest features!
Checkout girl: Got a points card?
Naboo: Bollo?
Bollo: Oh, I forgot it... Sorry
Naboo: See what I mean? That's worth 50 magic carpet miles!
Barry: Upgrade.
Naboo: See ya later Barry.
Barry: Yeah Naboo, Can I have a word? If I where you I'd stay indoors tonight, avoid the forest
Naboo: Oh yeah?
Barry: Apparntly it's breeding night for the Yeti!
Naboo: I thought they were hibernating.
Barry: They are, but every 25 years they come out, look for a man to breed with, they're bloody rampant! If I where you I'd avoid Piney Ridge.
Naboo: How'd you find out about this?
Barry: Crissy! Get's all the latest! He's got Sonar!
Naboo: Why didn't you tell me about this Bollo?
Bollo: I told you I had a bad feeling!
Naboo: I need details! See ya later Barry.
Barry: [To checkout girl]'Right there Gorgeous, When do you knock off?
[Scene where Howard moves through the forest, takes photo's and get's taken by the Yeti's.]
[Back to the cabin, Vince is straightening his hair when Jack walks in]
Vince: [Sings] So please, don't go.
Jack: Well hello there.
Vince: What do you want?
Jack: Well I, brought you some flowers. I picked them myself
Vince: Where's Howard?
Jack: Oh he's fine, he just went on a little walk up Piney Ridge, left us alone for a little while.
Vince: What're you eating?
JAck: Owl beaks! D'ya want some?
Vince: No I'm fine!
JAck: Get's you in the mood.
Vince: Mood for what?!
Jack: A pretty little thing like you and a big old mountain man like me!
Vince: Get away from me
Jack: But I loves you Vincey!
Vince: Your weird get off me!
JAck: I love my little Vincey!
[shot from outside the cabin you hear Jack screaming inside, Naboo and Bollo rush in the see what's happening, Vince is burning Jacks nose with straightners.]
Vince: There you go! Nicky Clarke - Hottest you can get!
Naboo: What's going on?
Vince: I'll tell you want's going on! I just narrowly avoided a bumming from Grizzly Adams!
Naboo: Where's Howard?
Vince: Went for a walk or something, up Piney Ridge!
[Dramatic music and looks]
Vince: What...have I got shit on my face?!
[Vince, Naboo and Bollo get in the van]
Vince: Do you think Howard will be alright Naboo?
Naboo: Well we're gonna have to move fast, before the Yeti's get him!
Vince: What are they gonna do to him if they catch him?
Naboo: I don't even wanna speak it's name!
Vince: Alright, we better get to piney ridge, quicksmart!
Naboo: Well let's get a move on then!
Vince: Right... but I can't drive!
Naboo: Your kidding I can't drive either!
Vince: I thought you could!
Naboo: Thought you could!
Vince: Did you bring your magic Carpet?
Naboo: Howard wouldn't let me pack it...'one suitcase!'
Vince: What're we gonna do?
Naboo: Bollo?
Vince: Come on Bollo, get your monkey anus up at the steering wheel.
Bollo: Bollo no drive.
Vince: Your joking why not?!
Bollo: Bollo lose licence.
Naboo: When did that happen?
Bollo: Long time ago, it was Chinquo, as teenager we would drive about town together, my father warn us, no drive too fast, for there are speed camera on A49. but Chinquo crazy. He dangerous, he always say Please Bollo, please let us go faster...
Vince: Yeah right, so you chopped his feet off yeah?
Bollo: No. I chopped his feet off... stopped him pressing accellerator!
Naboo: Do you have any more stories about Chinquo or do you think maybe we should get Howard.
Vince: What're we gonna do, Piney Ridge is about 5 hours away on foot!
Naboo: minicab?
[Ninja kncoks on window]
Ninja: Cheekbone!
Vince:Ah cheers, new issue! The Jackobean ruff's back in, I knew it! Genius... Oi mate, you can't drive can you?
Ninja: Yes.
Vince: Yes!
[Driving fast through forest, only slowing down when there is a speed camera]
Scene7
Naboo: Jeez! I thought Bollo had big feet, look at this!Vince: Howard?... Howard?
Bollo:...Shit. [Looking up they're surrounded by Yeti's]
Naboo: Now don't panic anyone, I'm a shaman! We've studied Yeti's havn't we Bollo! There's something they're afraid of, what is it Bollo?
Bollo: Urmm, Cheese?
Naboo: No.
Bollo: Lipstick?
Naboo: No!
Bollo: ermm... Connect 4!
Naboo: No! Mirrors! They're afraid of their reflection! If only we had a mirror.
Vince: What size do you need?
Naboo: What?
Vince: Well do you want hand held, full length, makeup mirror? This one's good for close-ups!
Naboo: Great give me that one!
Yeti: Arhh.. Hmm... [Throws mirror away] Nice try.
Naboo: Maybe that was Unicorns.
All: Ahhhhhh!
Howard: Kalamanoo! Katuna, Panto, Tatita, Sakunoo, Fantoo.
Vince: We thought you'd been killed!
Howard: What by these guys? They're peaceful.
Vince: What's wrong with you, what's wrong with your eyes? You look weird Howard!
Howard: Howard. Oh yes! I remember him, he was paranoid, at odds with himself. He';s gone now, say hello to Parsley.
Vince: Parsley?! What's wrong with you?
Howard: I feel free inside!
Vince: That's great Parsley, now lets get outta here.
Howard: Wooah, what's the rush, stay awhile. This is my home now!
Vince: What is the woods?
Howard: Come, let me show you.
Vince: Youve gone insane!
Howard: I resisted at first, but now the rhythms of the forest flow through me, and they can flow through you too!
[Yeti Song is sung here.]
[When the song finishes they are all in a bed surrounded by Yeti's, Kodiak Jack comes in shoots his gun and says]
Jack: Run for your lives!
Vince: Ahh! I've got Bunches!
Naboo: Where's my turban?
Jack: It's the Queen and she's horney as hell! Run little Vincey I'll save you! COme here you little Yeti Biatch!
Yeti Queen: Biatch?
Jack: Oh Ohh Nooo! A little to the left! Vince I didn't get your email!!
[Everyone runs away! Into the Cabin, where the Yeti Queen runs in after them, they are all hidden as animal heads on the wall, the queen comes in and looks around, just as she's walking out, Bollo Sneezes]
Bollo: Sorry guys!
[The Yeti Queen moves forward to get them as they all scream, but stands on Vince's suitcase and it opens, shooting her through the roof.]
Yeti Queen: Oooooooh! Flipping Hell!
Scene8
[Back in the Boosh van, on the way home]
Naboo: Malt Loaf!
Vince: What?
Naboo:Malt Loaf!
Vince: What're you talking about?
Naboo: It's what the Yeti's are afraid of!
Howard: ooh, Great, Just in time there Naboo!
Vince: Oh! I had some aswell I was on the GI diet!...Can we go to the Goody Lodge next year?
Howard: That's fine by me!
[A man runs up and knocks on the window]
Howard: New Global Explorer's in! Haha!...I don't believe it![Shows magazine with Vince on front cover]
Vince: Vince Noir finds Yeti. hahaha, Cool!
[Man knocks on Vince's window.]
Man: I say old bean, would you be kind enough to sign a copy for my wife?
Vince: No problem
Man: Make it out to Alan
Vince: There you go!
[Howard knocks the man down with the van]
Howard: Oh dear...
[Ending credits while everyone sings the Yeti song in the background.]
Naboo: Malt Loaf!
Vince: What?
Naboo:Malt Loaf!
Vince: What're you talking about?
Naboo: It's what the Yeti's are afraid of!
Howard: ooh, Great, Just in time there Naboo!
Vince: Oh! I had some aswell I was on the GI diet!...Can we go to the Goody Lodge next year?
Howard: That's fine by me!
[A man runs up and knocks on the window]
Howard: New Global Explorer's in! Haha!...I don't believe it![Shows magazine with Vince on front cover]
Vince: Vince Noir finds Yeti. hahaha, Cool!
[Man knocks on Vince's window.]
Man: I say old bean, would you be kind enough to sign a copy for my wife?
Vince: No problem
Man: Make it out to Alan
Vince: There you go!
[Howard knocks the man down with the van]
Howard: Oh dear...
[Ending credits while everyone sings the Yeti song in the background.]
Monday, 24 August 2009
Hello, I Love You Wont You Tell Me Your Name?
Our last blog was the 11th August. That was forever ago. So much has happened since then, for example...
Anyway, I felt that there may be someone, somewhere devasted about the lack of posts.
So we discovered a blog today purely devoted to publicising the complete tranuscript of The Mighty Boosh. That is pure dedication, makes our obsessions seem slightly pathetic tbh.
So I have decided that I am going to stalk Trash McSweeney. I must admit, I'm unsure how to go about this as I have such little experience in stalking people. I am somewhat experienced in being a spy, but i doubt these skills will enable me to find, follow and eventually marry Trash McSweeney leading to us having some very beautiful and very talented children. Also I suppose our children would be Australian or atleast have Australian genes. Sounds quite cool to me.
The point is that stalking Trash McSweeney seems quite difficult and possibly illegal, so I think it would be best that we just got married now and saved me years of following Trash around the world. And if for some weird reason things between me and Trash really just don't happen. I'm going to stalk Dave from the barber shop in Portsmouth. It'll be so much easier.
x
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
'You'll Never Be The First, You'll Never Be The Last'
I thought I might explain the name of our blog, for those who don't understand.
There's a band, called The Red Paintings. They're Genius. Lead Singer, and general main guy, Mr Trash McSweeny, is a sexy Australian artist/musician. They're classed as an 'Art Rock' band or something like that, and they encorporate paintings, and actual art into their very arty live shows in which they usually dress up and jump around alot :) (Wiki them to get the whole lot about them: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Paintings )
Your intrigued already I know.
Well anyway, they have this song, called The Revolution's Never Coming. It's on one of their EP's atm I think, but It's soon gonna be the lead track of their new debut album (Also called The Revolution's Never Coming, See the link we made!) Well we fell in love with this song really, not only is it just a good song to listen to, it's also kinda funny, with an actual meaning behind it. Oh... and it also goes 'choo choo' in the middle. and It says 'But The Scientists Will Never Kill Me!' Which my Science teacher wasn't too pleased with, when I wrote in in crayon on the front of my book...
The Revolution's Never Coming Lyricss
You want it,
You need it bad,
There's nothing better than this.
And I don't care if your looking at me,
And thinking I'm wasting my dreams.
Look at us now, we're all gone down,
My Father turns and the Priest holds nothing.
The covet on the wall,
The words of war,
Revolution's never coming!
And I wish you'd been stuck with blindness,
Before your eyes saw what they're about to see...
Please...
To an unknown destination dear Future,
But the Scientists will never kill me!
Look the good soldiers,
They simply follow orders,
The screams die down,
And the sea steals their promise.
The covet on the wall,
The words of war,
Revolution's Never Coming!
Shh, don't tell anyone.
The Catholics,
They think the protestants know,
Could be the Christians,
Who missed the train *Choo Choo*
But are you Kurt Cobain,
Caught in a trail of Death,
Let's go to Mars,
And start it all again!
All good things must come to an end,
I tell myself, carfully picking up a crumb of bread,
With reaking soil,
Concentration camps
Sold my face, stand for Japan,
Do all bad things,
Come to an end?
Just aswell, God must've heard my prayer,
The very next day,
A new guy smiled,
A new woman shook,
and the night retired,
and the night retired...
Hey, here's the last story,
tell it to your kids,
live without fear,
to say The Government's Boring!
You'll never be the first,
You'll never be the last!
Learn to *???*
Kill the coward who tells his stories.
Don't be mislead,
It's not a Revolution!
Not here to save your souls,
See you printing a solution,
It's all about Power,
Power over Money,
Products for the people making money in our country!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's came and gone...
You want it,
You need it bad,
There's nothing better than this.
And I don't care if your looking at me,
And thinking I'm wasting my dreams.
Look at us now, we're all gone down,
My Father turns and the Priest holds nothing.
The covet on the wall,
The words of war,
Revolution's never coming!
And I wish you'd been stuck with blindness,
Before your eyes saw what they're about to see...
Please...
To an unknown destination dear Future,
But the Scientists will never kill me!
Look the good soldiers,
They simply follow orders,
The screams die down,
And the sea steals their promise.
The covet on the wall,
The words of war,
Revolution's Never Coming!
Shh, don't tell anyone.
The Catholics,
They think the protestants know,
Could be the Christians,
Who missed the train *Choo Choo*
But are you Kurt Cobain,
Caught in a trail of Death,
Let's go to Mars,
And start it all again!
All good things must come to an end,
I tell myself, carfully picking up a crumb of bread,
With reaking soil,
Concentration camps
Sold my face, stand for Japan,
Do all bad things,
Come to an end?
Just aswell, God must've heard my prayer,
The very next day,
A new guy smiled,
A new woman shook,
and the night retired,
and the night retired...
Hey, here's the last story,
tell it to your kids,
live without fear,
to say The Government's Boring!
You'll never be the first,
You'll never be the last!
Learn to *???*
Kill the coward who tells his stories.
Don't be mislead,
It's not a Revolution!
Not here to save your souls,
See you printing a solution,
It's all about Power,
Power over Money,
Products for the people making money in our country!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
My Soul Dear Me,
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's never coming!
The Revolution's came and gone...
Some of these may be slightly off, cause he does sing some bits so they're hard to make out. But this is pretty much the lyrics.
Maybe now you understand. It's just another part of our obsessive personalities. LOL
x
Friday, 24 July 2009
'Oh My God, You're Paul Weller?'
Yes! My Friends, We found it!
Series 3, Episode 6!
Montgomery:Cast your eyes to the portraits behind.
Howard: Oh My God, You're Paul Weller?
Montgomery: No, Next One Along...
Oh Yes! We knew it was there somewhere, it just took a lot of watching Boosh to find it... What a shame!! :P
I can now go to bed happy:)
xx
Series 3, Episode 6!
Montgomery:Cast your eyes to the portraits behind.
Howard: Oh My God, You're Paul Weller?
Montgomery: No, Next One Along...
Oh Yes! We knew it was there somewhere, it just took a lot of watching Boosh to find it... What a shame!! :P
I can now go to bed happy:)
xx
Thursday, 23 July 2009
'Take some more tea'...
...'I havn't had any yet, so I can't very well take more'
'You mean you can't very well take less! You can always take more!' - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (if you havn't lived and don't know where it's from or who it's by!)
Tea!
It's possible the best drink in world tbh! Tonight, we decided we would try as many different tea's as were in one of our cupboards, so we have a night of tasting...10 (possibly 11, if we decide to finish off with earl gray, which we've tasted before!)
We've started out with Normal, bog standard Twinings Everyday, then we tried Peppermint (which tastes like Polo's!!), at this specific moment in time we are sipping Fruits of the Forest (smells amazing, taste is still being judged), afterwards we have Strawberry and Mango, Chai(an indian spice tea), Blackberry and Nettle, Pomegranate and Plum, Darjeeling, Lemon and Ginger (which my mum swears is amazing) and finally Ginger + Mango.
As you can see, we have a life, but really what better way to spend the early hours of the morning, after watching an amazing film ( Velvet Goldmine - Highly recommended due to it's Sexxxxyy Musical Geniusness!) We shall update afterwards our ratings (Oh yes!)...You better be ready!
Everyday - 5/5
Peppermint - 3/5
Fruit of Forest-4/5
Strawberry + Mango -2/5
Chai - 4/5
Blackberry +Nettle -
Pomegranate + Plum -
Darjeeling -
Lemon and Ginger -2/5
Ginger + Mango -
x
x
Friday, 10 July 2009
'Nothing makes one so vain as being told he is a sinner...'
'...Give him a mask and he'll tell you the truth.'
Oscar Wilde - What a Bloody Genius!
This time I'm not using Genius in the sense I always do, as in just really really cool, Wilde is genuinely, pure, unadulterated genius!
I've bee sat here singing along to Reel Big Fish/Robots in Disguise now for about 10 minutes, 'cause I can't actually think of a way to write down what we really want to say, I just know I want to say something :P.
1) Quotations:- some of them are truthful, some are hilarious, some are both, such as this one:- “America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.” Personally I agree ;)
The title of this blog, for example, is so truthful, people will say anything when they won't be named and can stay anonymous, it's natural, we get embarrassed, we're much more comfortable telling people the truth if we have a little mask to hide behind, where we're not open to the public to be criticised for our actions, he was a person who summed up human actions, human life into little 'one-liners' like that.
2) Books:- He wrote pure classics, much better than anyone nowadays could do. Better than what other people then could do. He was also MUCH better than Shakespeare at writing in any form. He viewed writing as an art "Art is a symbol, because man is a symbol" He viewed Life as art I think. (Just found this quote, I thought it fit with me as I can never take Anything seriously! 'Life is far too important a thing to talk seriously about')
All round, he was just such an amazing writer and I actually adore his works.
'Nothing Can Stop Us, This Script Is A Work Of Genius' - Amanda Palmer
x
Ps I realise most of this post doesn't actually make much sense, and I apologise if you find it's kind of unreadable. ('But what is the difference between Journalism and Literature? Journalism is unreadable, Literature is not read. That is all.' - Oscar Wilde)
Oscar Wilde - What a Bloody Genius!
This time I'm not using Genius in the sense I always do, as in just really really cool, Wilde is genuinely, pure, unadulterated genius!
I've bee sat here singing along to Reel Big Fish/Robots in Disguise now for about 10 minutes, 'cause I can't actually think of a way to write down what we really want to say, I just know I want to say something :P.
1) Quotations:- some of them are truthful, some are hilarious, some are both, such as this one:- “America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.” Personally I agree ;)
The title of this blog, for example, is so truthful, people will say anything when they won't be named and can stay anonymous, it's natural, we get embarrassed, we're much more comfortable telling people the truth if we have a little mask to hide behind, where we're not open to the public to be criticised for our actions, he was a person who summed up human actions, human life into little 'one-liners' like that.
2) Books:- He wrote pure classics, much better than anyone nowadays could do. Better than what other people then could do. He was also MUCH better than Shakespeare at writing in any form. He viewed writing as an art "Art is a symbol, because man is a symbol" He viewed Life as art I think. (Just found this quote, I thought it fit with me as I can never take Anything seriously! 'Life is far too important a thing to talk seriously about')
All round, he was just such an amazing writer and I actually adore his works.
'Nothing Can Stop Us, This Script Is A Work Of Genius' - Amanda Palmer
x
Ps I realise most of this post doesn't actually make much sense, and I apologise if you find it's kind of unreadable. ('But what is the difference between Journalism and Literature? Journalism is unreadable, Literature is not read. That is all.' - Oscar Wilde)
Saturday, 4 July 2009
'Your Death Could Not Kill My Love For You'
Humphrey Lyddleton. Ok, I may not have loved him specifically, but who didn't have a little bit of love for him inside really!
It makes me sad most people don't care he's dead, most people I know didn't even know he existed in the first place! I'm only mentioning him atm 'cause I have tickets to see I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue in September, guest chairman - Jack Dee. I thought I would take this opportunity to teach a small part of the world ( about the 3 people who may or may not read this!) about him, and how Genius his life actually was.
1) He was related to a man who was the first person to represent England for both Cricket and Football
2)He went to Eton - he either had money or brains! Turns out both, lucky man! ;)
3)He had an undying passion for Jazz( Ok, this may be explained in a later bog, but I hate jazz personally, but it's still one of the most influential and classic forms of music in our lives today, everything's related to Jazz somehow)
4) He managed to teach himself Trumpet!
5)He served in WWII and did one operation, with a pistol in one hand and his trumpet in the other.
6)He went to art college after the war and became a cartoonist for the Daily Mail(the daily mails not the good part of that!)
7) In the 40s and 50s he was prominent in the revival of Jazz
8) He helped Radiohead make specifically one of their songs as possibly good as it can be ( sadly being Radiohead, this was very difficult XD)
9) He also played clarinet, and had his own band!
10) in 1972 he became chairman to ISIHAC, the longest running comedy radio show.
11) He was the president of The Society Of Italic Handwriting!(If you weren't impressed before hand I'm sure you are now!
12) He carried on doing the touring show of ISIHAC as long as he possibly could, while being ill, he did all but the last show!
13) Sadly he died on the 25th of April 2008, at the Grand old age of 86, but he was surrounded by family and it was all peaceful, which is as nice as Death could be tbh :)
Tbh, ISIHAC will never be the same again!
Still a Genius program though. I thought I'd just share his life with you.
'Come On Fallen Star I Refuse To Let You Die'
x
'What If This Is All Just The End Of The World?'
Okay so the title is a slight exaggeration. But I have spent my life avoiding The News, and all current affairs. But people keep saying things in my presence. So I decided to write about my take on the world :)
I thought it was necessary to complain about the weather. I wanted to do some global warming rant but I don't really understand global warming. I have no idea whether it was this warm last year. I don't remember it being so, but I don't remember much.
Also there are shrinking sheep in Scotland. I sort of overheard some conversation about how it rains to much and so the sheep are shrinking. If I was a sheep and I started shrinking I would be quite pissed to be honest. I feel sorry for sheep to be honest. They're always stereotyped. Probably more than other animals. Its like 'oh, sheep, they always copy each other' but have you actually bothered to properly observe sheep and take the time to respect their individuality. Maybe that's why they decided to shrink in Scotland. They were sick of all the prejudice people in the world.
There's also swine flu, but i don't really know what to write about that...No one really cares, which is kind of sad. Although i suppose if everyone was like 'ahh swine flu' that would suck too.
Oh...I'm also going to add at this point, that the government, and pretty much everyone atm is like 'use anti-bacterial hand gel, this stops the spread of Swine Flu!' Anyone see the problem there? Swine Flu is a virus, and NOT killed by anti-bacterial gel. Not many people have bothered to realise this quite obvious fact!
Oh...I'm also going to add at this point, that the government, and pretty much everyone atm is like 'use anti-bacterial hand gel, this stops the spread of Swine Flu!' Anyone see the problem there? Swine Flu is a virus, and NOT killed by anti-bacterial gel. Not many people have bothered to realise this quite obvious fact!
I'm not going to write about the rest of the stuff that's going on.
'There's No Hell And No Hiroshima,
Chernobyl Was A Cover Up
The World Is Really All In Love'
X
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
'Damn The Government, Damn Their Killing Damn Their Lies'
This particular blog is a bit different but extremely important. It may be lacking quotations which I know was the entire point of this blog but recent circumstances mean there is much more important issues!
You see some time ago, last year at the begining of September a terrible, shocking thing happened. It had been a warm pleasant Tuesday, so pleasant that everybody was really happy as the evening drew in. Everyone except the people of the clergy. (Okay so story telling isnt my best skill but bear with me because it's getting interesting). The clergy were massively pissed at the lack of Jesus in the world. They decided to drug everyone and it turned out that everyone wasn't really happy just high. That night everyone went to bed as normal. However...the next morning never happened. Not one person stirred from their drug induced sleep.
The clergy spent this time planning their evil plans, happy that they could keep them hidden from the rest of the world. They surrounded us all by subliminal advertising: Secret messages about Jesus in pizza menues and occasional episodes of Eastenders.
By Thursday morning the horrific effects of the drugs had worn off completely and everyone woke and continued their lives like normal, completely unaware of the stolen day. This caused chaos. Cinema's allowed Orange Wednesday's when it was actually Thursdays. It was horrible. Luckily as no one actually knew this it took little effect on our everyday lives.
Three young female's came accross some crucial information that had been accidently left in their brains. After realising this they decided to look into it further. This next piece of information will chill you to the bone. Sunday's don't really exist. We have been dreaming Sunday's for all of our lives. But now it's time to fight back. Don't conform to their made up day. There is only six days in the week! Avoid the clergy and their evil schemes.
This information is only known by a small selected group of people. But it's time that the world realised. It's time to fight back. Begin the revolt!
Thank you for your time, but now its time to act!
'We All Know Conspiracies Are Dumb' - A small word from Blink 182 there...
'We All Know Conspiracies Are Dumb' - A small word from Blink 182 there...
x
Ps. Busted are also secretely planning world demonation. Keep your eye out
Pps. we're not anti-religious btw, one of us is infact related to the clergy, therefore this makes this entire post, and every bit of blame on the clergy all OK and not offensive at all! :)
Pps. we're not anti-religious btw, one of us is infact related to the clergy, therefore this makes this entire post, and every bit of blame on the clergy all OK and not offensive at all! :)
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
'This Is An Ex-Parrot!'
Why isn't Monty Python on TV anymore?!
That's what we wonder, 'cause they repeat Friends, and other comedys (on channels like Dave) over and over and over again, but no classics like Monty Python, Blackadder and other Genius of the comedy genre.
It's a sad sad state of affairs!
And Also, in Boosh, Where do they mention Paul Weller?... Someone must know!
They definitely do, but we dunno where.
So many questions, so little time...Although tbh we've got all day :D
x
That's what we wonder, 'cause they repeat Friends, and other comedys (on channels like Dave) over and over and over again, but no classics like Monty Python, Blackadder and other Genius of the comedy genre.
It's a sad sad state of affairs!
And Also, in Boosh, Where do they mention Paul Weller?... Someone must know!
They definitely do, but we dunno where.
So many questions, so little time...Although tbh we've got all day :D
x
Monday, 29 June 2009
'Will You Have Some Tea, At The Theatre With Me?'
We've decided, this song sums up our lives...
Just look at the lyrics: I'm Going Slightly Mad - Queen
When the outside temperature rises
And the meaning is oh so clear
One thousand and one yellow daffodils
Begin to dance in front of you - oh dear
Are they trying to tell you something?
You're missing that one final screw
You're simply not in the pink my dear
To be honest you haven't got a clue
I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened - happened
It finally happened - ooh oh
It finally happened - I'm slightly mad
Oh dear!
I'm one card short of a full deck
I'm not quite the shilling
One wave short of a shipwreck
I'm not at my usual top billing
I'm coming down with a fever
I'm really out to sea
This kettle is boiling over
I think I'm a banana tree
Oh dear, I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened, happened
It finally happened uh huh
It finally happened I'm slightly mad - oh dear!
I'm knitting with only one needle
Unravelling fast its true
I'm driving only three wheels these days
But my dear how about you?
I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened
It finally happened oh yes
It finally happened
I'm slightly mad!
Just very slightly mad!
And there you have it!
We're not actually mental, don't worry...
'Most Everyone's Mad Around Here'
x
Just look at the lyrics: I'm Going Slightly Mad - Queen
When the outside temperature rises
And the meaning is oh so clear
One thousand and one yellow daffodils
Begin to dance in front of you - oh dear
Are they trying to tell you something?
You're missing that one final screw
You're simply not in the pink my dear
To be honest you haven't got a clue
I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened - happened
It finally happened - ooh oh
It finally happened - I'm slightly mad
Oh dear!
I'm one card short of a full deck
I'm not quite the shilling
One wave short of a shipwreck
I'm not at my usual top billing
I'm coming down with a fever
I'm really out to sea
This kettle is boiling over
I think I'm a banana tree
Oh dear, I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened, happened
It finally happened uh huh
It finally happened I'm slightly mad - oh dear!
I'm knitting with only one needle
Unravelling fast its true
I'm driving only three wheels these days
But my dear how about you?
I'm going slightly mad
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened
It finally happened oh yes
It finally happened
I'm slightly mad!
Just very slightly mad!
And there you have it!
We're not actually mental, don't worry...
'Most Everyone's Mad Around Here'
x
'Just for the record, the weather today...'
...Is quite lovely tbh :)
We've started a blog, whey go us!
We've decided we need a conglomeration of quotations.
Of just everything that amazes us.
'It Must Astound, It Must Confound You.'
It would make sense for us to actually say where most of our quotes come from, although it would be more fun for you to find out.
You may notice our obsessive ways whilst reading. You may become aware of our 'tendencies to exaggerate just a little bit.' These obsessions will be a mixture of films such as Rocky Horror, Velvet Goldmine and all from the genius mind of Tim Burton. Also TV programs such as The Mighty Boosh, IT Crowd and a random collection of stand up and panel shows. Music such as The Dresden Dolls, Placebo and a fuck load of others. You may assume from the length of that list that we have no lives, but surely that's obvious from the fact that we've started a blog.
This blog is written by two people, who many have speculated spend too much time together, and whose personalities and skills come to the sum of one person.
'We Are All In The Gutter, But Some Of Us Are Looking At The Stars'
x
We've started a blog, whey go us!
We've decided we need a conglomeration of quotations.
Of just everything that amazes us.
'It Must Astound, It Must Confound You.'
It would make sense for us to actually say where most of our quotes come from, although it would be more fun for you to find out.
You may notice our obsessive ways whilst reading. You may become aware of our 'tendencies to exaggerate just a little bit.' These obsessions will be a mixture of films such as Rocky Horror, Velvet Goldmine and all from the genius mind of Tim Burton. Also TV programs such as The Mighty Boosh, IT Crowd and a random collection of stand up and panel shows. Music such as The Dresden Dolls, Placebo and a fuck load of others. You may assume from the length of that list that we have no lives, but surely that's obvious from the fact that we've started a blog.
This blog is written by two people, who many have speculated spend too much time together, and whose personalities and skills come to the sum of one person.
'We Are All In The Gutter, But Some Of Us Are Looking At The Stars'
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