Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Shut Up And Be A Victim Of Authority!

'Mind the gap!'
There was once a time, when such a warning was not given. It was the days before Health and Safety was hated by every living creature, including foxes, and back to a time when life was simpler and easier in general. During these times there was a terrible curse upon all lands of Train Platforms, many, many people were lost each year due to horrific lack of minding the gaps. It was awful, gaps were being taken to court left, right and centre. Gaps were being sent to jail and we had a world-wide lack of gaps, Trains went mental, they couldn't deal with it, and therefore they all went on strike. 'Something must be done!' said the wise Peacock, Winston, who was usually consulted on such matters of deep importance, he issued a decree that from that moment on(Tuesday 17th May 1968, at 3 O'clock)there would be a warning read out by a woman with a stern voice, on all Train platforms, He also declared that the name of the next station should be read out on the trains, purely for social convenience, but everyone agreed and thought this a good idea too, so the woman got a life long and beyond job, reading out warnings such as 'Mind the Gap' and announcing stations as is she was sneezing 'Cosham!'(Honestly, listen to it next time!) Everyone was happy. Especially Winston, the wise old Peacock, as he was paid greatly in rubies, gold, and sparkly accessories to go with his wonderful new Silver Skinny Trousers he got off ebay for £12.99, he had trouble finding them, as apparently they're not counted as skinny jeans, but trousers, but in the end, he found them and life was good from there on out when he could live his days sparkling, dancing, and drinking tea.

x

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