Seagulls

Wtf are they about?

They make rubbish flapjack, but protect it with their lives. Try and steal their flapjack and they'll go psycho, start throwing toy soldiers in your direction. Late at night, they'll come to your house and start pecking on your window. "Fuck off, I'm sleeping you batty crease" yell you, but these are persistent fuckers and they'll peck away all night. Finally you open the window, thinking I'll try and reason with the crazed sea bird. But then, the seagull will start to launch tiny magnets into your room!

Do not fear! For these menacing beasts shall be stopped! Seagulls converse in tight cliques but one of these cliques has been infiltrated by a top spy, who has lots of experience with birds with grudges. He once stopped an entire flock of pigeons who were minutes away from world domination. Stop! Cried he, you shall not poison the world with your concoction of diseases! Back ye! Back! It was a wonderful day for the world thanks to this spy.

So, be on guard! But remember hope is not lost. As we speak these seagulls are being fucked over left, right and centre!

Anyway, this isn't all about seagulls, it's fine. I hope you're still reading...If not, I'm going to be really sad. Not really. I don't like being sad much. I'm far too happy to be sad :)

Getting sleepy and it's only 7pm! Not that I slept a lot last night. Well, not that I slept at all, but still! Not even the point!

You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn...

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit and the vermin of the world inhabit it!!

Can't believe I still remember that. Must watch Sweeney Todd sometime soon :)

Anyway Love to you all, you sexy little things!

X

In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies.

Horton Hears A Who.

Dr Suess; I love you.

x

We'll chuck glitter in your eyes, pull out lasers - OPEN FIRE!

This is how we're going to deal with anyone who fucks with us from now on.

Watch out :)

x

We are what we believe!

There was once a donkey who went on an adventure, on the way he met a rabbit called Jeff who wanted to join the donkey on his way; the donkey, who was called Ken by the way, and Jeff travelled the length on the country searching for love and mutual respect, each night they set up camp, sat round a camp fire and sang songs into the night, where animals from the surrounding area would come and join them in their sing-song. They enjoyed their lives very much, but one day an evil hedgehog called Badger came up to them and started to question their way of living, asking them how they were really bringing about love and mutual respect, and how they could really think they were making a difference. Jeff and Ken weren't phased though and went to visit Winston, the wise old peacock, you know the one, who told them that what they were doing was what was right in their hearts and they should never let anyone question what's right in their hearts because that's when worlds start to fall down. Ken and Jeff carried on singing blithely away and travelling all around making new friends each night; occasionally they would meet another doubter, but they just sung louder and laughed harder, for they knew that was the best way to share love and mutual respect.

X

Once we were young and we were crass enough to care

I just got called stupid for saying I believe we, as a country, should never take arms against anyone even if it was self defence. You know the guy that first invented a gun? Did anyone think to call him stupid? The one who first violently defended property, did anyone remember and tell him what a twat he was being? Can't you see they've poisoned your brain? Don't you realise your part of the system and part of the problem? Were you never young and convinced you'd be the generation to break out? Remember the aspirations we had? Don't fucking drop them now. Always remember your choice, never let them take your freedom.

X

We're exactly what this country needs!

Today I...

• Wore 2 dresses!
• Went to my first ever wedding
• Talked at length with someone I'd never met
• Ordered my own drink from a bar
• Curled my hair
• Ate in front of people
• Asked if there was a vegetarian option
• Held conversation with adults
• Danced at a wedding
• Didn't fall over in heels
• Painted my toenails
• Didn't get upset at all, over something that a week ago would have killed me
• Spoke on the phone

All together pretty skilled in my opinion :) I'm fucking invincible!

X