They make rubbish flapjack, but protect it with their lives. Try and steal their flapjack and they'll go psycho, start throwing toy soldiers in your direction. Late at night, they'll come to your house and start pecking on your window. "Fuck off, I'm sleeping you batty crease" yell you, but these are persistent fuckers and they'll peck away all night. Finally you open the window, thinking I'll try and reason with the crazed sea bird. But then, the seagull will start to launch tiny magnets into your room!
Do not fear! For these menacing beasts shall be stopped! Seagulls converse in tight cliques but one of these cliques has been infiltrated by a top spy, who has lots of experience with birds with grudges. He once stopped an entire flock of pigeons who were minutes away from world domination. Stop! Cried he, you shall not poison the world with your concoction of diseases! Back ye! Back! It was a wonderful day for the world thanks to this spy.
So, be on guard! But remember hope is not lost. As we speak these seagulls are being fucked over left, right and centre!
Anyway, this isn't all about seagulls, it's fine. I hope you're still reading...If not, I'm going to be really sad. Not really. I don't like being sad much. I'm far too happy to be sad :)
Getting sleepy and it's only 7pm! Not that I slept a lot last night. Well, not that I slept at all, but still! Not even the point!
You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn...
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit and the vermin of the world inhabit it!!
Can't believe I still remember that. Must watch Sweeney Todd sometime soon :)
Anyway Love to you all, you sexy little things!
X
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